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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework from the lesson 10262021

작성자: 조*비
2021-10-26 308

회원님의 영작문



Oct 26 2021
Homework: What aspects of your present life would you miss if you became a celebrity?

Though I’ve never wanted to become a celebrity, I have imagined what it would be like if I were famous. Normally, in my imagination, I am surrounded by people who admire me or the trait that I have. It makes me wonder what it would feel like to be judged and assessed by others 24-7. This idea is one of the reasons that make me back off from the idea of being famous. If I ever become famous, I will miss my privacy the most. The freedom to talk irrational things with my friends, to walk the street without the fear of my picture taken, and to wear whatever I want.
In addition, I can’t help but think that I will loose a lot of relationships that I have. No matter how sincere they seem to be, we cannot be sure if our friends and family will see us the same way if we become a celebrity. Therefore, I assume I can be skeptical about all the people I meet, because,it can be necessary to figure

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Eunbee! Thank you for making grammatically correct sentences. However, please be careful with punctuation marks. 


- Debbie

O
ct. 26, 2021
Homework: What aspects of your present life would you miss if you became a celebrity?


Though I’ve never wanted to become a celebrity, I have imagined what it would be like if I were famous. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Normally, in my imagination, I am surrounded by people who admire me or the trait that I have.
>> Normally, I am surrounded by people who admire me or the trait that I have.

 It makes me wonder what it would feel like to be judged and assessed by others 24-7. 
>>  This is a good sentence.

This idea is one of the reasons that make me back off from the idea of being famous. 
>> This idea is one of the reasons that made me back off from the idea of being famous.

If I ever become famous, I will miss my privacy the most. 
>>  This is a good sentence.

The freedom to talk irrational things with my friends, to walk the street without the fear of my picture taken, and to wear whatever I want.
>> I will miss the freedom to talk about irrational things with my friends, walk the streets without the fear of my pictures being taken, and wear whatever I want.

In addition, I can’t help but think that I will loose a lot of relationships that I have.
>> In addition, I can’t help but think that I will lose a lot of relationships that I have.

No matter how sincere they seem to be, we cannot be sure if our friends and family will see us the same way if we become a celebrity.
>> No matter how sincere they seem, we cannot be sure if our friends and families will see us the same way if we become celebrities.

Therefore, I assume I can be skeptical about all the people I meet, because,it can be necessary to figure
>> Therefore, I assume I can be skeptical about all the people I meet because it can be necessary to figure out what they want from being close to me, a famous person.
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지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

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주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04