¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Please correct the sentence I made

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2021-10-27 260

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I had a great time with my family as usual.
On Saturday, we ordered a delicious food and had a fun time.
and on Sunday, i played soccer with my local friends and scored 2 goals.
These kind of things make me mentally and physically healthy so i can get the energy to get back to work.
I'm planing to visit my parents' place to make kimchi (called kimjang).

We make a lot of kimchi for winter and stored it in refri during the winter season.
Usually, the whole family gathers to make kimchi and shared it.
After finishing it, I'm going to drink with father-in-law and brother-in-law.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Well done, Mr. Yun. I almost forgot it is kimjang season again. Time flies really fast. I hope you have a great time making kimchi this coming weekend. Have a good night. See you in class tomorrow. ~Jane c",)


I had a great time with my family as usual.
>> CORRECT

On Saturday, we ordered a delicious food and had a fun time.
>> On Saturday, we ordered delicious food and had a fun time.

and on Sunday, i played soccer with my local friends and scored 2 goals.
>> And on Sunday, I played soccer with my local friends and scored 2 goals.

These kind of things make me mentally and physically healthy so i can get the energy to get back to work.
>> These kinds of things make/ keep me mentally and physically healthy so I can refresh my energy/ I can recharge to get back to work.

I'm planing to visit my parents' place to make kimchi (called kimjang).
>> I'm planning to visit my parents' place to make kimchi (called kimjang).

We make a lot of kimchi for winter and stored it in refri during the winter season.
>> We make a lot of kimchi for winter and store it in the refrigerator/fridge during the winter season.

Usually, the whole family gathers to make kimchi and shared it.
>> Usually, the whole family gathers to make kimchi and shares it.

After finishing it, I'm going to drink with father-in-law and brother-in-law.
>> After finishing it, I'm going to drink with my father-in-law and brother-in-law.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113204 How do you feel about customer complaints? Do you think you are... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 244
113203 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 262
113202 Strong Power of Body Language Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 240
113201 How often would you say you get a good night\'s sleep? ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 306
113200 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 334
113199 Writing Task: Elections aren\'t the only way to change the... ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 2
113198 Do you think a high English language proficiency level is needed? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 362
113197 Should the fashion industry use models that look more like... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 908
113196 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 1
113195 Hang out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-23 1
113194 Homework from the lesson 10212021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-23 265
113193 Do you spend money on your hobby? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-23 2
113192 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-23 274
113191 Not to be included important information À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-23 285
113190 Journal ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-23 255
113189 Which is better: dating for a short time or a long time before... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 2
113188 Do you think there would be less illness in the future? À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 305
113187 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 1
113186 Fill in the blanks with suitable prepositional phrases ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 239
113185 My dad ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 227

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04