¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Please correct the sentence I made

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2021-10-27 377

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I had a great time with my family as usual.
On Saturday, we ordered a delicious food and had a fun time.
and on Sunday, i played soccer with my local friends and scored 2 goals.
These kind of things make me mentally and physically healthy so i can get the energy to get back to work.
I'm planing to visit my parents' place to make kimchi (called kimjang).

We make a lot of kimchi for winter and stored it in refri during the winter season.
Usually, the whole family gathers to make kimchi and shared it.
After finishing it, I'm going to drink with father-in-law and brother-in-law.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Well done, Mr. Yun. I almost forgot it is kimjang season again. Time flies really fast. I hope you have a great time making kimchi this coming weekend. Have a good night. See you in class tomorrow. ~Jane c",)


I had a great time with my family as usual.
>> CORRECT

On Saturday, we ordered a delicious food and had a fun time.
>> On Saturday, we ordered delicious food and had a fun time.

and on Sunday, i played soccer with my local friends and scored 2 goals.
>> And on Sunday, I played soccer with my local friends and scored 2 goals.

These kind of things make me mentally and physically healthy so i can get the energy to get back to work.
>> These kinds of things make/ keep me mentally and physically healthy so I can refresh my energy/ I can recharge to get back to work.

I'm planing to visit my parents' place to make kimchi (called kimjang).
>> I'm planning to visit my parents' place to make kimchi (called kimjang).

We make a lot of kimchi for winter and stored it in refri during the winter season.
>> We make a lot of kimchi for winter and store it in the refrigerator/fridge during the winter season.

Usually, the whole family gathers to make kimchi and shared it.
>> Usually, the whole family gathers to make kimchi and shares it.

After finishing it, I'm going to drink with father-in-law and brother-in-law.
>> After finishing it, I'm going to drink with my father-in-law and brother-in-law.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112575 my personality (homework for 10.05) ±è*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 313
112574 Today\'s topic is the weather ±è*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 1
112573 Do you think computers are smarter than human beings? Answer in... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 366
112572 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 0
112571 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 416
112570 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 599
112569 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 440
112568 Is there an important link between inflation and unemployment? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 399
112567 Why is it important to vote? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 2
112566 Whom do you share your problems with? And why? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 3
112565 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 368
112564 What¡¯s the best plan you had? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 2
112563 Just my personal opinion :) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 319
112562 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 447
112561 Why do you think there are some couples in South Korea that... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 530
112560 1005 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 3
112559 How can you take care of an old person? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 2
112558 If you can have your own YouTube channel, what kind of content... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 1
112557 Should the media show graphic violence? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 609
112556 Please check if the grammar and context are correct. ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 496

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04