¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Competitive

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*ºó
2021-10-27 283

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Theme : [ESSAY] Are you and your friends competitive with each other? In which areas do you compete?
I compete with Anna.
We compete our physical strength and drawing skills.
We compete our physical strength with playing sports games like volleyball and basketball, etc.
We compete our drawing skills with drawing some flowers or something.
My friends and me are competitive with each other!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there, Clair!

Here's your revised composition. Please pay attention to the corrections and alternative sentences.

Cheers,
Jean~~



        Theme : [ESSAY] Are you and your friends competitive with each other? In which areas do you compete?


I compete with Anna.
>> or: I'm competitive with my best friend, Anna. 

We compete our physical strength and drawing skills.
>> We compete in our physical strength and drawing skills.

We compete our physical strength with playing sports games like volleyball and basketball, etc.
>> For instance, we compete in our physical strength when playing sports, such as volleyball, basketball, etc.

We compete our drawing skills with drawing some flowers or something.
>> Aside from this, we also compete in our drawing skills when drawing some flowers or something.

My friends and me are competitive with each other!
>> or: Indeed, my friends and I are competitive with each other, but in a healthy way!
>> or:  Truthfully, my friends and I are competitive with each other, but it's a healthy competition. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112787 To save the Earth ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 257
112786 0112 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 2
112785 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 1
112784 4 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 189
112783 58 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 245
112782 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 227
112781 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 243
112780 Writing ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 1
112779 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 298
112778 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 3
112777 Ideal job. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 1
112776 What do you think is the hardest part about being a student?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 255
112775 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 263
112774 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 242
112773 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 297
112772 How did you spend your long weekend? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 0
112771 Cartoons ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 277
112770 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 1
112769 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 1
112768 Please make a sentence with these expressions: ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 306

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04