¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework from the lesson 10272021

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ºñ
2021-10-27 209

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



At first glance, a worker who spend more time working than others seems to be the more loyal and better one. So one might believe that working overtime means the promotion or a raise is waiting for him/her. However, I do not agree to the idea of working overtime being a significant reason for a promotion. I have the reason based on my own experiences.
I had worked in a kitchen and I was in charge of training new cooks whenever we had them. At first I thought people who spent more time working is more diligent and hardworking than others. As I went through various types of trainees, I came to understand that the time spent on one¡¯s job had little to do with one¡¯s capability. Not only spending more time meant the trainee was slow, but sometimes it also showed his/her lack of ability to cope with unexpected situations. Also, if I were an owner of a business and if someone is regularly working overtime, my first concern will be whether I were paying for the unproductive time that the

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Eunbee! I¡¯m proud of the way you answered your homework with proper expressions.  However, you have to focus more on subject-verb agreement. Please take note of the corrections.

- Debbie

At first glance, a worker who spend more time working than others seems to be the more loyal and better one.
>> At first glance, a worker who spends more time working than others seems more loyal and better. 

 So one might believe that working overtime means the promotion or a raise is waiting for him/her. 
>> Therefore, one might believe that working overtime means a promotion or a raise is waiting for him. 

However, I do not agree to the idea of working overtime being a significant reason for a promotion. 
>> However, I do not agree with the idea of working overtime being a significant reason for a promotion. 

I have the reason based on my own experiences.
>> I have a reason based on my own experiences.

I had worked in a kitchen and I was in charge of training new cooks whenever we had them.
>> I worked in a kitchen, and I was in charge of training new cooks.

 At first I thought people who spent more time working is more diligent and hardworking than others.
>> At first, I thought people who spent more time working were more diligent and hardworking than others.

As I went through various types of trainees, I came to understand that the time spent on one¡¯s job had little to do with one¡¯s capability. 
>> As I handled various types of trainees, I came to understand that time spent on one's job had little to do with one's capability.

Not only spending more time meant the trainee was slow, but sometimes it also showed his/her lack of ability to cope with unexpected situations.
>> Not only spending more time meant the trainee was slow, but sometimes it also showed his lack of ability to cope with unexpected situations.

 Also, if I were an owner of a business and if someone is regularly working overtime, my first concern will be whether I were paying for the unproductive time that the worker had spent in my business.
>> Moreover, if I were a business owner, and if someone were regularly working overtime, my first concern would be whether I was paying for the unproductive time that the worker had spent in my business.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113870 Black sheep ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 243
113869 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 169
113868 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 154
113867 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 431
113866 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 119
113865 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 477
113864 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 3
113863 My teachers ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 164
113862 What did you do last weekend? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 150
113861 Why do you think couples do not have children in your country... ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 164
113860 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 156
113859 What wishes do you have for your family members? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 135
113858 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 159
113857 How do you think you could reduce stress or prevent stress in... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 143
113856 If you are very busy at work or at school, do you have ways to... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 126
113855 How do you ask for help? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113854 Which among your things is hard for you to throw away? Why? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 1
113853 Artic À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 1
113852 What was the last thing you bought for yourself? where did you... ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 1
113851 Why I like to going to school ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 527

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04