¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework from the lesson 10272021

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ºñ
2021-10-27 441

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



At first glance, a worker who spend more time working than others seems to be the more loyal and better one. So one might believe that working overtime means the promotion or a raise is waiting for him/her. However, I do not agree to the idea of working overtime being a significant reason for a promotion. I have the reason based on my own experiences.
I had worked in a kitchen and I was in charge of training new cooks whenever we had them. At first I thought people who spent more time working is more diligent and hardworking than others. As I went through various types of trainees, I came to understand that the time spent on one¡¯s job had little to do with one¡¯s capability. Not only spending more time meant the trainee was slow, but sometimes it also showed his/her lack of ability to cope with unexpected situations. Also, if I were an owner of a business and if someone is regularly working overtime, my first concern will be whether I were paying for the unproductive time that the

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Eunbee! I¡¯m proud of the way you answered your homework with proper expressions.  However, you have to focus more on subject-verb agreement. Please take note of the corrections.

- Debbie

At first glance, a worker who spend more time working than others seems to be the more loyal and better one.
>> At first glance, a worker who spends more time working than others seems more loyal and better. 

 So one might believe that working overtime means the promotion or a raise is waiting for him/her. 
>> Therefore, one might believe that working overtime means a promotion or a raise is waiting for him. 

However, I do not agree to the idea of working overtime being a significant reason for a promotion. 
>> However, I do not agree with the idea of working overtime being a significant reason for a promotion. 

I have the reason based on my own experiences.
>> I have a reason based on my own experiences.

I had worked in a kitchen and I was in charge of training new cooks whenever we had them.
>> I worked in a kitchen, and I was in charge of training new cooks.

 At first I thought people who spent more time working is more diligent and hardworking than others.
>> At first, I thought people who spent more time working were more diligent and hardworking than others.

As I went through various types of trainees, I came to understand that the time spent on one¡¯s job had little to do with one¡¯s capability. 
>> As I handled various types of trainees, I came to understand that time spent on one's job had little to do with one's capability.

Not only spending more time meant the trainee was slow, but sometimes it also showed his/her lack of ability to cope with unexpected situations.
>> Not only spending more time meant the trainee was slow, but sometimes it also showed his lack of ability to cope with unexpected situations.

 Also, if I were an owner of a business and if someone is regularly working overtime, my first concern will be whether I were paying for the unproductive time that the worker had spent in my business.
>> Moreover, if I were a business owner, and if someone were regularly working overtime, my first concern would be whether I was paying for the unproductive time that the worker had spent in my business.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114043 11.18 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 0
114042 Healthy eating ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 1
114041 How would you deal with an angry or irate customer? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 424
114040 How would you deal with an angry or irate customer? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 316
114039 Before corona pendemic ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 343
114038 I recommend ttaeok-bok-ki :) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 257
114037 If I will go America ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 611
114036 Voice phishing ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-20 1
114035 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-20 298
114034 What are the importance of taking examinations? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-20 2
114033 climate changes ¹è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-20 312
114032 I think the most difficult thing about learning English ¹è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-20 1
114031 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 263
114030 What do you want to improve about your appearance? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 292
114029 Today diary ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 252
114028 I think adopting pets are much better ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 350
114027 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 974
114026 calling through the phone is better for communication than... °­* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 356
114025 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 325
114024 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 312

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04