¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-10-29 380

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Fast food is known for unhealthy food. It contains unnecessary nutrients that destroy human;s immune system. It is also known for food which contain too much calorie that might be resulted on obesity. There are numerous fast food such as burger, pizza, and convenience food. I would like to state about convenience food mainly for single people. We can easily buy these food at the market due to the increase of demand. Modern society have changed everything. People believe that it's more convenient than they used to be but most people are living under the busy schedule everyday. There are countless e-mails that have to be checked, heavier working condition because of the automation. It leads people to have their meals quickly. The development of fast food market is the result of hectic life.
Packing materials are main problem that cause environmental destroy. Most fast food are delicious and convenience but it cause a lot of social problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang! Thanks for always responding to your essays! Even if you're getting busier these days, you still manage your time! Great weekend ahead!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Fast food is known for unhealthy food. 
>>> CORRECT
It contains unnecessary nutrients that destroy human's immune system.
>>> CORRECT
 It is also known for food which contain too much calories that might be resulted to obesity. 
>>> CORRECT
There are numerous fast food such as burger, pizza, and convenient food. 
>>> CORRECT
I would like to state about convenient food mainly for single people. 
>>> CORRECT
We can easily buy these food at the market due to the increase of demand. 
>>> CORRECT
Modern society has changed everything.
>>> CORRECT
 People believe that it's more convenient than they used to be but most people are living under their busy schedule everyday. 
>>> CORRECT
There are countless e-mails that have to be checked, heavier working condition because of the automation. 
>>> CORRECT
It leads people to have their meals quickly.
>>> CORRECT
 The development of fast food market is the result of hectic life.
>>> CORRECT
Packing materials are main problem that cause environmental destroy. 
>>> Packing materials is the main problem which causes environmental destruction. 
Most fast food are delicious and convenient but it causes a lot of social problems.
>>> CORRECT

PLEASE CHECK CONVENIENCE VS. CONVENIENT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114450 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 348
114449 The country I will never visit:Afghanistan ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 271
114448 Do you make a wish when you see a falling star? Why or why not? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1
114447 What aspect of your health do you want to improve on? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1
114446 Do you agree or disagree, \"Children should always obey their... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1
114445 Describe a time when your work was criticized? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 509
114444 How do you control your emotions in you profession? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1
114443 Who is your favorite BTS member? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 2
114442 Why is our company interesting to you? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 496
114441 TALK ABOUT YOUR CITY AND WHY IT IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE TO VISIT. ¼º*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 713
114440 What¡¯s the biggest lesson you¡¯ve learned from a mistake... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 555
114439 If you could have one superpower, what would it be? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 311
114438 Annual lantern festival lights up downtown Seoul À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 0
114437 What is your first impression of your teacher? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 385
114436 What are the different methods of advertising? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-04 5
114435 Is restaurant food better than home-cooked food? Why do you say... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-04 821
114434 Is there a food that you will never eat? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-04 2
114433 How can stress be good, useful, or necessary? ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 462
114432 wow/... I will keep trying!!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 349
114431 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 281

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04