¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-10-29 394

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Fast food is known for unhealthy food. It contains unnecessary nutrients that destroy human;s immune system. It is also known for food which contain too much calorie that might be resulted on obesity. There are numerous fast food such as burger, pizza, and convenience food. I would like to state about convenience food mainly for single people. We can easily buy these food at the market due to the increase of demand. Modern society have changed everything. People believe that it's more convenient than they used to be but most people are living under the busy schedule everyday. There are countless e-mails that have to be checked, heavier working condition because of the automation. It leads people to have their meals quickly. The development of fast food market is the result of hectic life.
Packing materials are main problem that cause environmental destroy. Most fast food are delicious and convenience but it cause a lot of social problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang! Thanks for always responding to your essays! Even if you're getting busier these days, you still manage your time! Great weekend ahead!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Fast food is known for unhealthy food. 
>>> CORRECT
It contains unnecessary nutrients that destroy human's immune system.
>>> CORRECT
 It is also known for food which contain too much calories that might be resulted to obesity. 
>>> CORRECT
There are numerous fast food such as burger, pizza, and convenient food. 
>>> CORRECT
I would like to state about convenient food mainly for single people. 
>>> CORRECT
We can easily buy these food at the market due to the increase of demand. 
>>> CORRECT
Modern society has changed everything.
>>> CORRECT
 People believe that it's more convenient than they used to be but most people are living under their busy schedule everyday. 
>>> CORRECT
There are countless e-mails that have to be checked, heavier working condition because of the automation. 
>>> CORRECT
It leads people to have their meals quickly.
>>> CORRECT
 The development of fast food market is the result of hectic life.
>>> CORRECT
Packing materials are main problem that cause environmental destroy. 
>>> Packing materials is the main problem which causes environmental destruction. 
Most fast food are delicious and convenient but it causes a lot of social problems.
>>> CORRECT

PLEASE CHECK CONVENIENCE VS. CONVENIENT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112358 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112357 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112356 How different do you think is the generation now from the... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 480
112355 What things do you want to add or remove in your house? Explain... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 951
112354 Do you think it is more important to make a lot of money or to... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 450
112353 Is it better to rent or buy a property? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112352 What kind of help do you want now? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 477
112351 0929 ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 2
112350 If you will be away from your family for three days, what would... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112349 speaking part-2(person) ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 453
112348 Do you believe that the rich are growing richer, and the poor... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 344
112347 9.28 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 1
112346 Why is English fluency significant for you? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 1
112345 Dear Debbie ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 0
112344 ^^ ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 386
112343 What delicious food can you make? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 465
112342 What food do you like to try to cook? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 423
112341 What\'s your fondest childhood memory? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 2
112340 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 3
112339 What\'s your thought on your country\'s traditional holidays? Çã*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04