¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What natural disaster do you fear the most? and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-10-29 203

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In the world, there are various kinds of natural disasters, and I think yellow dust is the most worst disaster.
First, yellow dust is usually occured in China, and it come to Korea and Japan.
In China, there are a lot of deserts and even tough there is the world second largest desert, Gobi desert.
And the problem is there are some kinds of heavy metals so they make a human body very dangerous.
Also nowadays, it is going worst because of disposable wooden chopsticks.
In South Korea, people are using about two billions five hundreds millions disposable wooden chopsticks
To produce those chopsticks, we have to use many trees.
So China's forests are being deserts and so a lot of yellow dust is coming to Korea.
So if we want to stop this disaster, we should try to do not use those chopsticks, and we should have a interest about this problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In the world, there are various kinds of natural disasters, and I think yellow dust is the most worst disaster.
>> In the world, there are various kinds of natural disasters, and I think yellow dust is the worst one. 

First, yellow dust is usually occured in China, and it come to Korea and Japan.
>> First, yellow dust is usually from China. 

In China, there are a lot of deserts and even tough there is the world second largest desert, Gobi desert.
>> In China, there are a lot of deserts and like  second largest desert, Gobi desert.

And the problem is there are some kinds of heavy metals so they make a human body very dangerous.
>> The problem is that there is some kind of heavy metals in the sand that can be harmful to humans. 

Also nowadays, it is going worst because of disposable wooden chopsticks.
>> Nowadays, it is going to be worst because of disposable wooden chopsticks. 

In South Korea, people are using about two billions five hundreds millions disposable wooden chopsticks
>> CORRECT

To produce those chopsticks, we have to use many trees.
>> CORRECT

So China's forests are being deserts and so a lot of yellow dust is coming to Korea.
>> CORRECT

So if we want to stop this disaster, we should try to do not use those chopsticks, and we should have a interest about this problem.
>> 
So if we want to stop this disaster, we should try to not use those chopsticks, and  have interest about this problem.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113141 Can you concentrate on other things when you are listening to... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 0
113140 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 192
113139 Is it a must for a person to have a hobby? why? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 1
113138 10.21 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 1
113137 How have birthdays changed from generation to generation in your... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 213
113136 Should we try to make life as uncomfortable as possible for... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 216
113135 Where do you wish to live when you are old? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 1
113134 What was the most interesting thing that you did during the... ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 1
113133 How can people maintain good health? À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 320
113132 Stress ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 448
113131 Hands ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 196
113130 What are some of the most serious environmental problems we have... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 371
113129 What is your daily routine during the weekdays? Explain briefly. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 0
113128 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 268
113127 32 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 176
113126 Worst weather: too hot weather ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 218
113125 What are the advantages and disadvantages of buying a new/used... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 3
113124 HOMEWORK: Would you like to move to another country? (why or why... ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 2
113123 HOMEWORK: Would you like have a pet? (If Yes, what pet would you... ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 1
113122 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 438

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04