¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What natural disaster do you fear the most? and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-10-29 520

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In the world, there are various kinds of natural disasters, and I think yellow dust is the most worst disaster.
First, yellow dust is usually occured in China, and it come to Korea and Japan.
In China, there are a lot of deserts and even tough there is the world second largest desert, Gobi desert.
And the problem is there are some kinds of heavy metals so they make a human body very dangerous.
Also nowadays, it is going worst because of disposable wooden chopsticks.
In South Korea, people are using about two billions five hundreds millions disposable wooden chopsticks
To produce those chopsticks, we have to use many trees.
So China's forests are being deserts and so a lot of yellow dust is coming to Korea.
So if we want to stop this disaster, we should try to do not use those chopsticks, and we should have a interest about this problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In the world, there are various kinds of natural disasters, and I think yellow dust is the most worst disaster.
>> In the world, there are various kinds of natural disasters, and I think yellow dust is the worst one. 

First, yellow dust is usually occured in China, and it come to Korea and Japan.
>> First, yellow dust is usually from China. 

In China, there are a lot of deserts and even tough there is the world second largest desert, Gobi desert.
>> In China, there are a lot of deserts and like  second largest desert, Gobi desert.

And the problem is there are some kinds of heavy metals so they make a human body very dangerous.
>> The problem is that there is some kind of heavy metals in the sand that can be harmful to humans. 

Also nowadays, it is going worst because of disposable wooden chopsticks.
>> Nowadays, it is going to be worst because of disposable wooden chopsticks. 

In South Korea, people are using about two billions five hundreds millions disposable wooden chopsticks
>> CORRECT

To produce those chopsticks, we have to use many trees.
>> CORRECT

So China's forests are being deserts and so a lot of yellow dust is coming to Korea.
>> CORRECT

So if we want to stop this disaster, we should try to do not use those chopsticks, and we should have a interest about this problem.
>> 
So if we want to stop this disaster, we should try to not use those chopsticks, and  have interest about this problem.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112916 What are your fears and how are you going to overcome them? ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 393
112915 If you\'re going to have a party, where would you like to have... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 3
112914 Has your hometown changed a lot since you were a kid? If so,... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 337
112913 Has your hometown changed a lot since you were a kid? If so,... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 1
112912 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 296
112911 Which greeting kind of annoys you? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 4
112910 Could liking chocolate be considered a \"vice\"? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 2
112909 homework ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 411
112908 HOMEWORK: Choose the right word. Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 312
112907 HOMEWORK: Choose the right word. Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 647
112906 HOMEWORK: Choose the right word. Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 380
112905 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 363
112904 Can we be happy if we are poor? Why or why not? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 1
112903 Do you manage to sleep as much as you need? If not, why not? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 0
112902 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 1
112901 Dancing ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 382
112900 why eat vegetables are ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 382
112899 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 288
112898 Name one traditional Korean dessert and describe it. Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 378
112897 How do you make a to-do-list? What things should you consider? Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 313

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04