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영작교정 게시판

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In some societies, more and more people are choosing to live on their own? What are the reasons peop

작성자: 황*하
2021-10-30 470

회원님의 영작문

It's common to live alone when people reach 20 years old in western countries. Parents in Korea don't usually allow their children to live alone before they get married because they don't think that our society is safe. They also are worried about everything if their children live on their own. In fact, most children don't know how to cook, clean up and do laundry until they become an adult because their parents do everything for them. Parents believe that it is their obligation and it is the way to love their children. Therefore, Koreans rely on their parents a lot. I don't think it is the positive effect. Of course, students can focus on studying without worries but they finally become dependent to anybody. If people live alone, they learn a lot of things regarding households. They also can have more free time that would be useful to develop on various ways. Our world has become too competitive. To be superior in competition, young people need to be independent and they are asked to

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day Mr. Hwang! Thank you for having informative discussions with me. I appreciate you essay-making too! Have a great week ahead!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
It's common to live alone when people reach 20 years old in western countries.
>>> CORRECT
Parents in Korea don't usually allow their children to live alone before they get married because they don't think that our society is safe. 
>>> CORRECT
They also are worried about everything if their children live on their own. 
>>> They are also worried about everything if their children live on their own. 
In fact, most children don't know how to cook, clean up and do laundry until they become an adult because their parents do everything for them. 
>>> CORRECT
Parents believe that it is their obligation and it is the way to love their children.
>>> CORRECT
 Therefore, Koreans rely on their parents a lot. 
>>> CORRECT
I don't think it is a positive effect. 
>>> CORRECT
Of course, students can focus on studying without worries but they finally become dependent to anybody. 
>>> CORRECT
If people live alone, they learn a lot of things regarding households. 
>>> CORRECT
They can also  have more free time that would be useful to develop on various ways. 
>>> CORRECT
Our world has become too competitive. 
>>> CORRECT
To be superior in competition, young people need to be independent and they are asked to...
>>> CORRECT
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