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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

It is sometimes suggested that primary schoolchildren should learn how to grow vegetables and keep a

작성자: 황*하
2021-10-30 281

회원님의 영작문

I strongly believe that students have to be taught basic things first. Based on my opinion, it is important to learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals because students can learn a lot of scientific knowledges and know the importance of every lives. Education curriculum in my country has many problems. Students in primary school study basic Korean characters but they also learn math that can't be understood ,if they don't know how to speak, write and listen Korean. Furthermore, most students attend as many as private academy to study most subject in advance than school curriculum. As a result, they don't want to understand anything regarding what they learn. They just know how to memorize specific knowledge. I want students to get knowledges by doing more activities and have a debate class. I believe that growing vegetables and keeping animals give a lot of positive effects on students' further subjects.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day Mr. Hwang! Thank you for having informative discussions with me. I appreciate you essay-making too! Have a great week ahead!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I strongly believe that students have to be taught basic things first.
>>> I strongly believe that students have to learn basic things first.
 Based on my opinion, it is important to learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals because students can learn a lot of scientific knowledge and know the importance of every life. 
>>> CORRECT
Education curriculum in my country has many problems.
>>> CORRECT
I strongly believe that students have to be taught basic things first.
>>> CORRECT
 Students in primary school study basic Korean characters but they also learn math that can't be understood ,if they don't know how to speak, write and listen to Korean.
>>> CORRECT
 Furthermore, most students attend as many as private academy to study most subject in advance than school curriculum.
>>>  Furthermore, most students attend as many as private academies to study most subject in advance than school curriculum.
As a result, they don't want to understand anything regarding what they learn. 
>>> CORRECT
They just know how to memorize specific knowledge.
>>> CORRECT
 I want students to get knowledges by doing more activities and have a debate class.
>>>  I want students to get knowledgeable by doing more activities and have a debate class.
 I believe that growing vegetables and keeping animals give a lot of positive effects on students' further subjects.
>>> CORRECT
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