¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

It is sometimes suggested that primary schoolchildren should learn how to grow vegetables and keep a

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-10-30 354

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I strongly believe that students have to be taught basic things first. Based on my opinion, it is important to learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals because students can learn a lot of scientific knowledges and know the importance of every lives. Education curriculum in my country has many problems. Students in primary school study basic Korean characters but they also learn math that can't be understood ,if they don't know how to speak, write and listen Korean. Furthermore, most students attend as many as private academy to study most subject in advance than school curriculum. As a result, they don't want to understand anything regarding what they learn. They just know how to memorize specific knowledge. I want students to get knowledges by doing more activities and have a debate class. I believe that growing vegetables and keeping animals give a lot of positive effects on students' further subjects.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day Mr. Hwang! Thank you for having informative discussions with me. I appreciate you essay-making too! Have a great week ahead!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I strongly believe that students have to be taught basic things first.
>>> I strongly believe that students have to learn basic things first.
 Based on my opinion, it is important to learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals because students can learn a lot of scientific knowledge and know the importance of every life. 
>>> CORRECT
Education curriculum in my country has many problems.
>>> CORRECT
I strongly believe that students have to be taught basic things first.
>>> CORRECT
 Students in primary school study basic Korean characters but they also learn math that can't be understood ,if they don't know how to speak, write and listen to Korean.
>>> CORRECT
 Furthermore, most students attend as many as private academy to study most subject in advance than school curriculum.
>>>  Furthermore, most students attend as many as private academies to study most subject in advance than school curriculum.
As a result, they don't want to understand anything regarding what they learn. 
>>> CORRECT
They just know how to memorize specific knowledge.
>>> CORRECT
 I want students to get knowledges by doing more activities and have a debate class.
>>>  I want students to get knowledgeable by doing more activities and have a debate class.
 I believe that growing vegetables and keeping animals give a lot of positive effects on students' further subjects.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113370 How do you catch one\'s attention in business? ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 261
113369 Licenses ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 508
113368 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 3
113367 Are you always prepared? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 1
113366 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 383
113365 I didn\\\'t know time was diffrent in earth À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 2
113364 How does stress affect you? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 0
113363 Do you think modern technology reduces or increases stress? Why? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 346
113362 Homework from the lesson 10282021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 464
113361 What is special in your neighborhood that most Indonesians... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 1
113360 Which is heavier, an elephant or a hamster? Which is lighter, a... Àü*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 690
113359 homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 839
113358 Do you agree that money makes the world go around? Explain your... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 0
113357 Always, too much is bad ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 508
113356 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 340
113355 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 458
113354 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 1
113353 Which do you like more, studying in China or studying in Korea?... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 510
113352 Do you agree that money makes the world go around? Explain your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 328
113351 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 338

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04