¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

It is sometimes suggested that primary schoolchildren should learn how to grow vegetables and keep a

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-10-30 403

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I strongly believe that students have to be taught basic things first. Based on my opinion, it is important to learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals because students can learn a lot of scientific knowledges and know the importance of every lives. Education curriculum in my country has many problems. Students in primary school study basic Korean characters but they also learn math that can't be understood ,if they don't know how to speak, write and listen Korean. Furthermore, most students attend as many as private academy to study most subject in advance than school curriculum. As a result, they don't want to understand anything regarding what they learn. They just know how to memorize specific knowledge. I want students to get knowledges by doing more activities and have a debate class. I believe that growing vegetables and keeping animals give a lot of positive effects on students' further subjects.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day Mr. Hwang! Thank you for having informative discussions with me. I appreciate you essay-making too! Have a great week ahead!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I strongly believe that students have to be taught basic things first.
>>> I strongly believe that students have to learn basic things first.
 Based on my opinion, it is important to learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals because students can learn a lot of scientific knowledge and know the importance of every life. 
>>> CORRECT
Education curriculum in my country has many problems.
>>> CORRECT
I strongly believe that students have to be taught basic things first.
>>> CORRECT
 Students in primary school study basic Korean characters but they also learn math that can't be understood ,if they don't know how to speak, write and listen to Korean.
>>> CORRECT
 Furthermore, most students attend as many as private academy to study most subject in advance than school curriculum.
>>>  Furthermore, most students attend as many as private academies to study most subject in advance than school curriculum.
As a result, they don't want to understand anything regarding what they learn. 
>>> CORRECT
They just know how to memorize specific knowledge.
>>> CORRECT
 I want students to get knowledges by doing more activities and have a debate class.
>>>  I want students to get knowledgeable by doing more activities and have a debate class.
 I believe that growing vegetables and keeping animals give a lot of positive effects on students' further subjects.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112424 my dislike subject ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 375
112423 At what age do people usually begin to work in your country? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 1
112422 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 424
112421 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 2
112420 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 509
112419 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 856
112418 Is there anything that does not yet exist that you would like to... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 1
112417 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 606
112416 Movies and computer games containing violence are popular. Some... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 511
112415 HOMEWORK ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 481
112414 Howework ±Ç*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 2
112413 How different is North Korea from South Korea nowadays? Explain... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 472
112412 Today\'s homework Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 0
112411 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 1
112410 Do you watch any TV show? What TV programs interest you? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 400
112409 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 439
112408 Should adults with jobs still live with their parents but pay... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 0
112407 Should parents help their children plan their future? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 1
112406 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 1
112405 How different is North Korea from South Korea nowadays? Explain... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 366

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04