¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

It is sometimes suggested that primary schoolchildren should learn how to grow vegetables and keep a

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-10-30 432

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I strongly believe that students have to be taught basic things first. Based on my opinion, it is important to learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals because students can learn a lot of scientific knowledges and know the importance of every lives. Education curriculum in my country has many problems. Students in primary school study basic Korean characters but they also learn math that can't be understood ,if they don't know how to speak, write and listen Korean. Furthermore, most students attend as many as private academy to study most subject in advance than school curriculum. As a result, they don't want to understand anything regarding what they learn. They just know how to memorize specific knowledge. I want students to get knowledges by doing more activities and have a debate class. I believe that growing vegetables and keeping animals give a lot of positive effects on students' further subjects.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day Mr. Hwang! Thank you for having informative discussions with me. I appreciate you essay-making too! Have a great week ahead!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I strongly believe that students have to be taught basic things first.
>>> I strongly believe that students have to learn basic things first.
 Based on my opinion, it is important to learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals because students can learn a lot of scientific knowledge and know the importance of every life. 
>>> CORRECT
Education curriculum in my country has many problems.
>>> CORRECT
I strongly believe that students have to be taught basic things first.
>>> CORRECT
 Students in primary school study basic Korean characters but they also learn math that can't be understood ,if they don't know how to speak, write and listen to Korean.
>>> CORRECT
 Furthermore, most students attend as many as private academy to study most subject in advance than school curriculum.
>>>  Furthermore, most students attend as many as private academies to study most subject in advance than school curriculum.
As a result, they don't want to understand anything regarding what they learn. 
>>> CORRECT
They just know how to memorize specific knowledge.
>>> CORRECT
 I want students to get knowledges by doing more activities and have a debate class.
>>>  I want students to get knowledgeable by doing more activities and have a debate class.
 I believe that growing vegetables and keeping animals give a lot of positive effects on students' further subjects.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112286 9/27 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 560
112285 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 716
112284 HOMEWORK: What did you last weekend? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112283 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 420
112282 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 2
112281 Outside ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112280 21 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1078
112279 [Homework] When was the last time you went to the beach? What... Á¶*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 2
112278 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112277 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 492
112276 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 424
112275 Do you have garage sales in your country? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112274 Were you afraid of anything when you were a child? What was it? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112273 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 883
112272 If you can make a rule in your school, what would it be and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 942
112271 What do you think can depress kids nowadays? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112270 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 569
112269 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 550
112268 Medicine ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 650
112267 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04