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영작교정 게시판

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What are the endangered animals in your country?

작성자: 선*
2021-10-31 393

회원님의 영작문

As the world gets globalized, exotic species come to our nature more often without obvious notice. Nobody seems to know exactly how the exotic species were introduced. Some threw strange species away into the river or forest, others purposely put those into our nature, and still, others unpurposely brought those attached to their personal items. What problems occur, exotic species start to break our natural order. For example, first, bass which is fish from is breaking stream order. It eats up our native fish in streams or rivers, and the number of bass increases. Second, our native species, frogs were eaten up by American bullfrogs which is much bigger than native frogs. To solve this problem, we are allowed to fish bass as much as.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Sun Jung,
Thank you for sharing your ideas today!
thank you and have a nice day!
Teacher ELLY.
What are the endangered animals in your country?
As the world gets globalized, exotic species come to our nature more often without obvious notice. 
>>As each country in the world becomes more globalized, exotic species also start to immerse without them being obviously noticed. 
Nobody seems to know exactly how the exotic species were introduced.
CORRECT!
or>>No one seems to know about how these exotic species came into existence.
Some threw strange species away into the river or forest, others purposely put those into our nature, and still, others unpurposely brought those attached to their personal items. 
>>Some people threw strange species into the rivers or forests, others purposely integrated them into our nature, and still, others purposely brought these with them as their personal properties. 
What problems occur, exotic species start to break our natural order. 
>>Some problems then occur, wherein these exotic species start to break the natural order of things. 
For example, first, bass which is fish from is breaking stream order. 
>>For example, first, the bass which is a fish that has infiltrated the order of things in streams. 
It eats up our native fish in streams or rivers, and the number of bass increases. 
>>It eats up our native fish in streams or rivers, therefore, the population of this particular type of fish has increased immensely. 
Second, our native species, frogs were eaten up by American bullfrogs which is much bigger than native frogs. 
>>Second, our native frogs were eaten up by the American bullfrogs, which is much bigger in size than them. 
To solve this problem, we are allowed to fish bass as much as.
>>To solve this problem, we are allowed to fish bass as much as we can.
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