¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework from the lesson 11012021

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ºñ
2021-11-02 301

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Homework: What do you think of athletes making so much money? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

My opinion on a person's earning is mostly based on the effort and time the person invested to make it. Therefore I think athletes deserve earning a lot of money, more so if they invested time and energy to acheive something great.
Though I do not think other jobs need less effort or investment to be successful, in my opinion, success as an athlete is perhaps more dependent on the physical effort than other kinds of career.
Also, famous athletes get their achievement mostly because of their supreme performance. I see no problem in them making more money. It could be a problem if they are making the same amount of money after they stopped performing successfully. However, as long as their investment is constant, I think they can make as much money as they are paid.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Eunbee! Thank you for always taking the time to answer your homework.   Keep up the good work.

- Debbie

Homework: What do you think of athletes making so much money? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

My opinion on a person's earning is mostly based on the effort and time the person invested to make it.
>> My opinion on a person's earnings is mostly based on the effort and time the person invested to make them.

Therefore I think athletes deserve earning a lot of money, more so if they invested time and energy to acheive something great.
>> Therefore, I think athletes deserve to earn a lot of money, all the more so if they invest time and energy to achieve something great.

Though I do not think other jobs need less effort or investment to be successful, in my opinion, success as an athlete is perhaps more dependent on the physical effort than other kinds of career.
>> Though I do not think other jobs need less effort or investment to be successful, in my opinion, success as an athlete is perhaps more dependent on physical effort than in other kinds of careers.

Also, famous athletes get their achievement mostly because of their supreme performance. 
>> Moreover, famous athletes get their achievement mostly because of their supreme performance. 

I see no problem in them making more money. 
>> This is a good sentence.

It could be a problem if they are making the same amount of money after they stopped performing successfully.
>>  It could be a problem if they are still making the same amount of money even if they are performing poorly.

However, as long as their investment is constant, I think they can make as much money as they are paid.
>> However, as long as their investment is constant, I think they can make as much money as they can.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114275 Wow it is wonderful! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 686
114274 swimming at the beach ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 194
114273 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 340
114272 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 1
114271 Have you ever done a \"small\" crime before? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 4
114270 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 430
114269 Why can learning a language be sometimes difficult? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 177
114268 Alcohol ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 205
114267 China and freedom. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 245
114266 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 678
114265 On what occasions do you give flowers in your country? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 178
114264 If you can change one of your personalities, what would it be... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 1
114263 If you can give a present to your parents, what would it be and... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 0
114262 Halloween ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 412
114261 Homework {11/29} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 209
114260 What are the things that you love to buy? Explain why. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 172
114259 What can we do with some rocks? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 1
114258 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 1
114257 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 179
114256 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04