¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework from the lesson 11012021

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ºñ
2021-11-02 295

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Homework: What do you think of athletes making so much money? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

My opinion on a person's earning is mostly based on the effort and time the person invested to make it. Therefore I think athletes deserve earning a lot of money, more so if they invested time and energy to acheive something great.
Though I do not think other jobs need less effort or investment to be successful, in my opinion, success as an athlete is perhaps more dependent on the physical effort than other kinds of career.
Also, famous athletes get their achievement mostly because of their supreme performance. I see no problem in them making more money. It could be a problem if they are making the same amount of money after they stopped performing successfully. However, as long as their investment is constant, I think they can make as much money as they are paid.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Eunbee! Thank you for always taking the time to answer your homework.   Keep up the good work.

- Debbie

Homework: What do you think of athletes making so much money? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

My opinion on a person's earning is mostly based on the effort and time the person invested to make it.
>> My opinion on a person's earnings is mostly based on the effort and time the person invested to make them.

Therefore I think athletes deserve earning a lot of money, more so if they invested time and energy to acheive something great.
>> Therefore, I think athletes deserve to earn a lot of money, all the more so if they invest time and energy to achieve something great.

Though I do not think other jobs need less effort or investment to be successful, in my opinion, success as an athlete is perhaps more dependent on the physical effort than other kinds of career.
>> Though I do not think other jobs need less effort or investment to be successful, in my opinion, success as an athlete is perhaps more dependent on physical effort than in other kinds of careers.

Also, famous athletes get their achievement mostly because of their supreme performance. 
>> Moreover, famous athletes get their achievement mostly because of their supreme performance. 

I see no problem in them making more money. 
>> This is a good sentence.

It could be a problem if they are making the same amount of money after they stopped performing successfully.
>>  It could be a problem if they are still making the same amount of money even if they are performing poorly.

However, as long as their investment is constant, I think they can make as much money as they are paid.
>> However, as long as their investment is constant, I think they can make as much money as they can.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114106 English song ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 196
114105 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 164
114104 Uniforms change according to the jobs. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 180
114103 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 1
114102 How do you understand the statement: ¡°Beauty is skin deep¡±? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 2
114101 Call ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 4
114100 I love it ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 254
114099 Who do you think is the greatest inventor of all time? Explain... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 1352
114098 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 168
114097 Which musical do you like the most? Why? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 1
114096 homework. ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 1
114095 Some people think that companies and private individuals should... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 181
114094 homework. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 6
114093 weekend ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 3
114092 What volunteer work do you see yourself doing? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 197
114091 essay about the \"what do we growing kids like to do\" ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 5
114090 If you had money to spare, what would you invest in? Why? ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 0
114089 What makes you sad? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 220
114088 (y)homework ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 0
114087 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04