¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework from the lesson 11012021

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ºñ
2021-11-02 452

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Homework: What do you think of athletes making so much money? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

My opinion on a person's earning is mostly based on the effort and time the person invested to make it. Therefore I think athletes deserve earning a lot of money, more so if they invested time and energy to acheive something great.
Though I do not think other jobs need less effort or investment to be successful, in my opinion, success as an athlete is perhaps more dependent on the physical effort than other kinds of career.
Also, famous athletes get their achievement mostly because of their supreme performance. I see no problem in them making more money. It could be a problem if they are making the same amount of money after they stopped performing successfully. However, as long as their investment is constant, I think they can make as much money as they are paid.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Eunbee! Thank you for always taking the time to answer your homework.   Keep up the good work.

- Debbie

Homework: What do you think of athletes making so much money? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

My opinion on a person's earning is mostly based on the effort and time the person invested to make it.
>> My opinion on a person's earnings is mostly based on the effort and time the person invested to make them.

Therefore I think athletes deserve earning a lot of money, more so if they invested time and energy to acheive something great.
>> Therefore, I think athletes deserve to earn a lot of money, all the more so if they invest time and energy to achieve something great.

Though I do not think other jobs need less effort or investment to be successful, in my opinion, success as an athlete is perhaps more dependent on the physical effort than other kinds of career.
>> Though I do not think other jobs need less effort or investment to be successful, in my opinion, success as an athlete is perhaps more dependent on physical effort than in other kinds of careers.

Also, famous athletes get their achievement mostly because of their supreme performance. 
>> Moreover, famous athletes get their achievement mostly because of their supreme performance. 

I see no problem in them making more money. 
>> This is a good sentence.

It could be a problem if they are making the same amount of money after they stopped performing successfully.
>>  It could be a problem if they are still making the same amount of money even if they are performing poorly.

However, as long as their investment is constant, I think they can make as much money as they are paid.
>> However, as long as their investment is constant, I think they can make as much money as they can.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114210 ÈÞ°­°ü·Ã Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 359
114209 Customer realtionship ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 329
114208 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 0
114207 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 312
114206 If you were going to be a teacher, where would you like to teach? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 3
114205 I think Seoul is the best city in Korea. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 249
114204 The meaning of Having children to me. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 324
114203 food recommendation for foreigners. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 905
114202 What are the things that you love to buy? Explain why. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 0
114201 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 297
114200 email related to my work ÃÖ*¿µ ÁøÇàÁß 2021-11-26 1
114199 Blue Whale 🐳 ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 357
114198 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 252
114197 How could you decline offers of help politely? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 622
114196 Do you like to be busy, or do you like to have an easy schedule?... ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 434
114195 What are the things that you love to buy? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 2011
114194 Tell me about the most beautiful place in Korea. ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 0
114193 I love to buy clothes:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 284
114192 Can cosmetics boost the self esteem of a woman? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 0
114191 Why I like to going in the birthday party. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 661

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04