¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework from the lesson 11012021

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ºñ
2021-11-02 383

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Homework: What do you think of athletes making so much money? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

My opinion on a person's earning is mostly based on the effort and time the person invested to make it. Therefore I think athletes deserve earning a lot of money, more so if they invested time and energy to acheive something great.
Though I do not think other jobs need less effort or investment to be successful, in my opinion, success as an athlete is perhaps more dependent on the physical effort than other kinds of career.
Also, famous athletes get their achievement mostly because of their supreme performance. I see no problem in them making more money. It could be a problem if they are making the same amount of money after they stopped performing successfully. However, as long as their investment is constant, I think they can make as much money as they are paid.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Eunbee! Thank you for always taking the time to answer your homework.   Keep up the good work.

- Debbie

Homework: What do you think of athletes making so much money? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

My opinion on a person's earning is mostly based on the effort and time the person invested to make it.
>> My opinion on a person's earnings is mostly based on the effort and time the person invested to make them.

Therefore I think athletes deserve earning a lot of money, more so if they invested time and energy to acheive something great.
>> Therefore, I think athletes deserve to earn a lot of money, all the more so if they invest time and energy to achieve something great.

Though I do not think other jobs need less effort or investment to be successful, in my opinion, success as an athlete is perhaps more dependent on the physical effort than other kinds of career.
>> Though I do not think other jobs need less effort or investment to be successful, in my opinion, success as an athlete is perhaps more dependent on physical effort than in other kinds of careers.

Also, famous athletes get their achievement mostly because of their supreme performance. 
>> Moreover, famous athletes get their achievement mostly because of their supreme performance. 

I see no problem in them making more money. 
>> This is a good sentence.

It could be a problem if they are making the same amount of money after they stopped performing successfully.
>>  It could be a problem if they are still making the same amount of money even if they are performing poorly.

However, as long as their investment is constant, I think they can make as much money as they are paid.
>> However, as long as their investment is constant, I think they can make as much money as they can.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113647 job ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 294
113646 How do you keep in touch with your relatives and friends? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 1
113645 Tell me about your favorite food. ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 410
113644 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 290
113643 Korea\'s big problem ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 294
113642 What do you like most about teaching? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 0
113641 10.29 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 1
113640 Do you have any collections? Tell me about it, ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 305
113639 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 285
113638 Help me teacher Mayleen Á¤*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 6
113637 What would you do if you had more free time? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 255
113636 What do people in your country usually do on Pepero Day? Should... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 1
113635 Tell me the most interesting place in your country. ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 2
113634 What are you most afraid of? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 380
113633 My husband job ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 3
113632 For Jisun Oral Test 2 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 329
113631 For Jisun Oral Test 1 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 326
113630 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 385
113629 Tell us about a memorable, enjoyable, or strange dream you\'ve... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 276
113628 Affect bad effect to penguins ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 328

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04