무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework from the lesson 11012021

작성자: 조*비
2021-11-02 446

회원님의 영작문

Homework: What do you think of athletes making so much money? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

My opinion on a person's earning is mostly based on the effort and time the person invested to make it. Therefore I think athletes deserve earning a lot of money, more so if they invested time and energy to acheive something great.
Though I do not think other jobs need less effort or investment to be successful, in my opinion, success as an athlete is perhaps more dependent on the physical effort than other kinds of career.
Also, famous athletes get their achievement mostly because of their supreme performance. I see no problem in them making more money. It could be a problem if they are making the same amount of money after they stopped performing successfully. However, as long as their investment is constant, I think they can make as much money as they are paid.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Eunbee! Thank you for always taking the time to answer your homework.   Keep up the good work.

- Debbie

Homework: What do you think of athletes making so much money? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

My opinion on a person's earning is mostly based on the effort and time the person invested to make it.
>> My opinion on a person's earnings is mostly based on the effort and time the person invested to make them.

Therefore I think athletes deserve earning a lot of money, more so if they invested time and energy to acheive something great.
>> Therefore, I think athletes deserve to earn a lot of money, all the more so if they invest time and energy to achieve something great.

Though I do not think other jobs need less effort or investment to be successful, in my opinion, success as an athlete is perhaps more dependent on the physical effort than other kinds of career.
>> Though I do not think other jobs need less effort or investment to be successful, in my opinion, success as an athlete is perhaps more dependent on physical effort than in other kinds of careers.

Also, famous athletes get their achievement mostly because of their supreme performance. 
>> Moreover, famous athletes get their achievement mostly because of their supreme performance. 

I see no problem in them making more money. 
>> This is a good sentence.

It could be a problem if they are making the same amount of money after they stopped performing successfully.
>>  It could be a problem if they are still making the same amount of money even if they are performing poorly.

However, as long as their investment is constant, I think they can make as much money as they are paid.
>> However, as long as their investment is constant, I think they can make as much money as they can.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
112814 Homework 윤*임 완료 2021-10-13 642
112813 What is the hardest part of being a student? 여*진 완료 2021-10-13 3
112812 My new mobile phone 기*현 완료 2021-10-13 467
112811 What is you favorite song and why do you like it? 여*진 완료 2021-10-13 0
112810 Why do you think there are some couples in South Korea that... 여*진 완료 2021-10-13 0
112809 Homework 권*미 완료 2021-10-13 0
112808 e-mail correction 박*광 완료 2021-10-13 1
112807 presentation 유*진 완료 2021-10-13 380
112806 Wealth gap widening among young Koreans : data 유*진 완료 2021-10-13 1
112805 What art form do you like best? Why? 양*빈 완료 2021-10-13 1
112804 Homework 이*희 완료 2021-10-13 2
112803 Homework 함*주 완료 2021-10-13 1
112802 Homework 방*영 완료 2021-10-13 300
112801 How do you handle naughty children? 류*선 완료 2021-10-13 477
112800 Why is sleep important? 권*윤 완료 2021-10-13 3
112799 What is your favorite Autumn activity? 김*묵 완료 2021-10-13 344
112798 10.12 homework 임*윤 완료 2021-10-13 1
112797 What good advice can you give younger people? 안*윤 완료 2021-10-12 2
112796 Write about three specific goals you want to achieve this year. 김*환 완료 2021-10-12 462
112795 homework 편*철 완료 2021-10-12 756

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]