¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are the things we could do to protect ourselves from crime?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Çö
2021-11-02 314

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Sometimes I had the question too, so I have search on Youtube.
I watched many video, and I introduce the way of one.
Before I watched it, I think the way of protecting crime is making sentences be higher.
But the conclusion of many researches is making catching chance be higher.
Because usual criminals don't think about sentences and punishments.
They think that police can\'t catch them when the sentence is not high.
If they know that they must be caught,they hesitate of give up to do crime.
And the video said, "Therefore, we let precriminals know all of criminals are caught. It is the reason of importance of reporting a crime and claim to be a witness."
I agree it, and I promise myself If I see anycrime although the victim is stranger, I will report or help it. I don't have to miss it.
I believe It will make noncrime country.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Kang!

You really like writing essays.  It's a good way to learn English.  Keep on sharing your ideas.  But don't forget to read the corrections as well.  Take note of the right patterns and ask if you need to.  :)


-T. Maine


Sometimes I had the question too, so I have search on Youtube.

>>Sometimes, I have the question too so I have searched on YouTube for the answer.
 I watched many video, and I introduce the way of one.

>>I watched many videos and I saw one way.
 Before I watched it, I think the way of protecting crime is making sentences be higher.

>>Before I watched it, I thought the only way to protect us from crime is increasing the punishment for criminals.
 But the conclusion of many researches is making catching chance be higher.

>>But according to researches, the chance of getting a criminal caught is higher these days compared to the past.  
 Because usual criminals don't think about sentences and punishments.

>>Common criminals don't think about the sentence to be given to them in jail.
 They think that police can\'t catch them when the sentence is not high.

>>They think that police can't catch them when the sentence is not high.
 If they know that they must be caught,they hesitate of give up to do crime.

>>If they know that they will be caught, they will hesitate to do crimes.
 And the video said, "Therefore, we let precriminals know all of criminals are caught.

>>And the video said that it's going to let people know that all criminals were caught.

It is the reason of importance of reporting a crime and claim to be a witness."

>>It is also necessary to report a crime scene through witnesses.
 I agree it, and I promise myself If I see anycrime although the victim is stranger, I will report or help it. I don't have to miss it.

>>I agree with it.  I told myself that if I see any crime, I will report it or ask help from police officers.  I should not miss it.
 I believe It will make noncrime country.

>>I believe our country will become a crime-free place.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113536 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 385
113535 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 252
113534 Homework from the lesson Nov 3rd 2021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 287
113533 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 376
113532 Worst invention ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 610
113531 Happy halloween! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 713
113530 Why is regret important? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 876
113529 Abebe Bikila : barefoot marathoner ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 363
113528 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113527 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 335
113526 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 221
113525 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 304
113524 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113523 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 361
113522 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 1
113521 If I don\'t work an engineer. ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 359
113520 1103. ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113519 Since it\'s Halloween season, do you think ghosts are real? Why... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 359
113518 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 541
113517 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 462

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04