¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My favorite vacation

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-11-04 209

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was 23, I have been travel with my friend at Kotakinabalu Malaysia.
During 2 week, that travel is my favorite memory.
It's my first time in forever free trip.
We were met so many friends, and ate delicious food.
And just resting so cool with my best friend.
I want to go back that time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

That sounds exciting! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

When I was 23, I have been travel with my friend at Kotakinabalu Malaysia.
>> When I was 23, I traveled with my friend to
 Kotakinabalu, Malaysia.

During 2 week, that travel is my favorite memory.
>> Our 2-week stay was my favorite. 

It's my first time in forever free trip.
>> It's my first free trip. 

We were met so many friends, and ate delicious food.
>> We met so many friends and ate delicious food. 

And just resting so cool with my best friend.
>> I rested with my cool bestfriend. 

I want to go back that time.
>> I want to go back to that time. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114226 Describe a time you went above and beyond at work ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-28 144
114225 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-28 0
114224 Stabbing sparks debate in South Korea over passive policing and... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-28 1
114223 Is it common for employers to contact workers outside of working... À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-28 5
114222 If you see a homeless person on the street asking for money,... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 187
114221 homework sport! ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 1
114220 HOMework idioms ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 1
114219 Street sign. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 1
114218 Christmas Invitation Letter ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 206
114217 How will computers change in the future? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 166
114216 What do you think very old people think of modern technology? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 204
114215 What is your ideal job? Why? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 329
114214 Do you watch commercials or skip them? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 188
114213 Argument ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 562
114212 I bought a new smart phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 199
114211 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 202
114210 ÈÞ°­°ü·Ã Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 225
114209 Customer realtionship ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 166
114208 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 0
114207 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 167

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04