¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My favorite vacation

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-11-04 194

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was 23, I have been travel with my friend at Kotakinabalu Malaysia.
During 2 week, that travel is my favorite memory.
It's my first time in forever free trip.
We were met so many friends, and ate delicious food.
And just resting so cool with my best friend.
I want to go back that time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

That sounds exciting! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

When I was 23, I have been travel with my friend at Kotakinabalu Malaysia.
>> When I was 23, I traveled with my friend to
 Kotakinabalu, Malaysia.

During 2 week, that travel is my favorite memory.
>> Our 2-week stay was my favorite. 

It's my first time in forever free trip.
>> It's my first free trip. 

We were met so many friends, and ate delicious food.
>> We met so many friends and ate delicious food. 

And just resting so cool with my best friend.
>> I rested with my cool bestfriend. 

I want to go back that time.
>> I want to go back to that time. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113982 Homework Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 2
113981 Application ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 212
113980 Application ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 176
113979 Application ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 182
113978 What delicacies in South Korea would you recommend to a... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 319
113977 What delicacies in South Korea would you recommend to a... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1
113976 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 483
113975 What are the important lessons that your parents have taught you? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 0
113974 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1
113973 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 194
113972 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 645
113971 For Jisun Oral Test 3 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 242
113970 For Jisun Oral Test 3 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 125
113969 Grandparents ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 199
113968 What will you do if you are in a desert? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 2
113967 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 0
113966 Should parents help their children plan their future? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 182
113965 self introduction, reason of application È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 148
113964 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 655
113963 Seoul hospitals overwhelmed, but Korea committed to staying open À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04