¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My favorite vacation

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-11-04 204

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was 23, I have been travel with my friend at Kotakinabalu Malaysia.
During 2 week, that travel is my favorite memory.
It's my first time in forever free trip.
We were met so many friends, and ate delicious food.
And just resting so cool with my best friend.
I want to go back that time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

That sounds exciting! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

When I was 23, I have been travel with my friend at Kotakinabalu Malaysia.
>> When I was 23, I traveled with my friend to
 Kotakinabalu, Malaysia.

During 2 week, that travel is my favorite memory.
>> Our 2-week stay was my favorite. 

It's my first time in forever free trip.
>> It's my first free trip. 

We were met so many friends, and ate delicious food.
>> We met so many friends and ate delicious food. 

And just resting so cool with my best friend.
>> I rested with my cool bestfriend. 

I want to go back that time.
>> I want to go back to that time. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113173 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 666
113172 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 0
113171 HOMEWORK: What kind of goal would you like to achieve now? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 1
113170 HOMEWORK: What tourist attractions would you like to see in... ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 1
113169 36 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 510
113168 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 0
113167 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 212
113166 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 0
113165 Homework Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 2
113164 Homework Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 3
113163 Who is the most annoying person you know? Why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 2
113162 What is the hardest problem you have ever faced in your life?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 1
113161 What is the hardest problem you have ever faced in your life?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 256
113160 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 213
113159 homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 183
113158 homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 201
113157 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 220
113156 Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 305
113155 My hardest problem in my life ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 235
113154 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 297

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04