¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My favorite vacation

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-11-04 256

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was 23, I have been travel with my friend at Kotakinabalu Malaysia.
During 2 week, that travel is my favorite memory.
It's my first time in forever free trip.
We were met so many friends, and ate delicious food.
And just resting so cool with my best friend.
I want to go back that time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

That sounds exciting! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

When I was 23, I have been travel with my friend at Kotakinabalu Malaysia.
>> When I was 23, I traveled with my friend to
 Kotakinabalu, Malaysia.

During 2 week, that travel is my favorite memory.
>> Our 2-week stay was my favorite. 

It's my first time in forever free trip.
>> It's my first free trip. 

We were met so many friends, and ate delicious food.
>> We met so many friends and ate delicious food. 

And just resting so cool with my best friend.
>> I rested with my cool bestfriend. 

I want to go back that time.
>> I want to go back to that time. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113586 What website do you often use and why? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 333
113585 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 2
113584 1. What is hoarding? 2. Are you a hoarder? Tell me why. ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 298
113583 Kindly answer the following in essay form. What website do you... ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 3
113582 Homework from the lesson 11042021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 320
113581 Is there such a thing as \"unbiased reporting? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 280
113580 What are three things that motivate you? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 286
113579 Homework ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 337
113578 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 224
113577 What website do you often use and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 0
113576 Tell me about the best vacation you\'ve ever had. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 0
113575 Most Important attitude at work ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 377
113574 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 289
113573 What are the possible causes for having a vice? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 341
113572 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 281
113571 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 1007
113570 Beauty ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 376
113569 Should adultery be considered a crime? Explain your answer. ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 283
113568 What is your ideal job? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 1
113567 Are You Willing to Relocate? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 686

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04