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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Should adultery be considered a crime? Explain your answer.

작성자: 이*현
2021-11-04 257

회원님의 영작문

In Korea, adultery is excluded from crime, but divorce for adultery make much alimony.
Many people and I consider it is immoral action.
Because adultery is serious problem. It can make family to brake.
Then, the victim and their children have terrible memory forever like trauma.
The mental damage can effect their all life.
And I think divorce should be made easily in social condition.
Many Korean old husband and wife don't love each other, but they live together.
One of the reasons are negative attention about divorce in Korea.
Marriage's originally mean is 'love each other always forever', So I have a doubt for the couple without love.
Love can be finished, and can be restarted.
If person who is in marriage has love other person, I think he should brake present marriage and start new love. or throw away the thought about new love.
This writing is my personal opinion.
I'm not in marriage yet, so my opinion can change.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there, Kang!

I understand your point of view about marriage and divorce.  Well, we can't control other people's feeling.  It's our right to love and sometimes we also make mistakes.  But all I can say is that marriage should be respected.  Divorce should only be allowed to people who hurt their partners. 


-T. Maine


In Korea, adultery is excluded from crime, but divorce for adultery make much alimony.

>>Correct.
 Many people and I consider it is immoral action.

>>Many people including me consider it as an immoral act.
 Because adultery is serious problem. It can make family to brake.

>>It is because adultery is a serious family problem.  It can destroy families.
 Then, the victim and their children have terrible memory forever like trauma.

>>And the spouse as well as their children will experience emotional and mental hardships which can be forever like a trauma.
 The mental damage can effect their all life.

>>This mental damage can affect their way of life.
 And I think divorce should be made easily in social condition.

>>And I think divorce should be allowed in certain situations.
 Many Korean old husband and wife don't love each other, but they live together.

>>Many Korean used to be husbands and wives don't love each other, but they still live together.
 One of the reasons are negative attention about divorce in Korea.

>>One of there reasons is the negative perception about divorce in my country.
 Marriage's originally mean is 'love each other always forever', So I have a doubt for the couple without love.

>>Marriage originally mean loving each other always and forever.  So I doubt couples getting married without love.
 Love can be finished, and can be restarted.

>>Love can end and become new again.
 If person who is in marriage has love other person, I think he should brake present marriage and start new love. or throw away the thought about new love.

>>If a married man has fallen in love with another woman, I think he should break his relationship with his wife and start loving the new person.  Or leave the other woman and stay loyal to his wife.
 This writing is my personal opinion.

>>This is my personal opinion.
 I'm not in marriage yet, so my opinion can change.

>>I'm not married yet, so my opinion can still change in the future.


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