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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework from the lesson 11042021

작성자: 조*비
2021-11-04 225

회원님의 영작문



Nov 04 2021
Homework: Can a person be happy and well-adjusted without any friends?

When it comes to a person’s happiness, I cannot say that no friends means no happiness, because, in my opinion, happiness is defined differently for each individual. Therefore, there is a possibility that an individual is happy without anyone around him/her.
However, I do not think a person can be well-rounded without any friends around. It is because I think a personality is defined through countless adjustings and adaptations, and especially when they are done through communicating with others. Being happy, I think, has nothing to do with the degree of being well-adjusted. For a person to be well-adjusted, he/she needs opportunities to observe other’s reaction during interactions.
As children, we were taught to think in others’ shoes, to objectively assess ourselves. While I agree to the lesson, I also think that daily, it is through other people’s reactions that we learn the appropriate ways

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Eunbee! Thanks for doing your homework. However, please be careful with word usage. 

- Debbie

Nov. 04, 2021
Homework: Can a person be happy and well-adjusted without any friends?

When it comes to a person’s happiness, I cannot say that no friends means no happiness, because, in my opinion, happiness is defined differently for each individual.
>> When it comes to a person’s happiness, I cannot say that having no friends means no happiness because, in my opinion, happiness is defined differently for each individual.

Therefore, there is a possibility that an individual is happy without anyone around him/her.
>> This is a good sentence.

However, I do not think a person can be well-rounded without any friends around.
>> However, I do not think a person can be well-adjusted without any friends around.

 It is because I think a personality is defined through countless adjustings and adaptations, and especially when they are done through communicating with others.
>> It is because I think a personality is defined through countless adjustments and adaptations, and especially when they communicate with others.

Being happy, I think, has nothing to do with the degree of being well-adjusted.
>> This is a good sentence.

For a person to be well-adjusted, he/she needs opportunities to observe other’s reaction during interactions.
>> For a person to be well-adjusted, he/she needs opportunities to observe others' reactions during interactions.

As children, we were taught to think in others’ shoes, to objectively assess ourselves.
>> As children, we were taught to put ourselves in others’ shoes to objectively assess ourselves.

 While I agree to the lesson, I also think that daily, it is through other people’s reactions that we learn the appropriate ways
>>  While I agree with the lesson, I also think that it is through other people’s reactions that we learn the appropriate ways to form relationships.

Therefore, I strongly disagree to the idea of one being able to be well-adjusted individual without having any friends.
>> Therefore, I strongly disagree with the idea of one being able to be a well-adjusted individual without having any friends.
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114300 Tuesday Homework 류*우 완료 2021-11-30 1322
114299 What do you do after learning that you did something wrong? 신*섭 완료 2021-11-30 213
114298 ESSAY 전*영 완료 2021-11-30 658
114297 Halloween 기*현 완료 2021-11-30 216
114296 Do you think parents must set time limits for their children to... 황*하 완료 2021-11-30 158
114295 HOMEWORK 전*영 완료 2021-11-30 524
114294 Homework 함*주 완료 2021-11-30 1
114293 HOMEWORK 전*영 완료 2021-11-30 175
114292 HOMEWORK 전*영 완료 2021-11-30 1043
114291 What kind of advertising is offensive? Answer in a few sentences. 이*연 완료 2021-11-30 195
114290 homework 박*민 완료 2021-11-30 3
114289 Homework 박*은 완료 2021-11-30 1
114288 homework 김*우 완료 2021-11-30 175
114287 Is honesty important? Why or why not? ye*nhi 완료 2021-11-30 245
114286 What effect does divorce have on children? Explain. 김*민 완료 2021-11-30 3
114285 What\'s the best thing about your grandparents? 김*은 완료 2021-11-30 2
114284 Not all drivers obey the laws while driving on the road. What... 황*하 완료 2021-11-30 409

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03
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