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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework from the lesson 11042021

작성자: 조*비
2021-11-04 250

회원님의 영작문



Nov 04 2021
Homework: Can a person be happy and well-adjusted without any friends?

When it comes to a person’s happiness, I cannot say that no friends means no happiness, because, in my opinion, happiness is defined differently for each individual. Therefore, there is a possibility that an individual is happy without anyone around him/her.
However, I do not think a person can be well-rounded without any friends around. It is because I think a personality is defined through countless adjustings and adaptations, and especially when they are done through communicating with others. Being happy, I think, has nothing to do with the degree of being well-adjusted. For a person to be well-adjusted, he/she needs opportunities to observe other’s reaction during interactions.
As children, we were taught to think in others’ shoes, to objectively assess ourselves. While I agree to the lesson, I also think that daily, it is through other people’s reactions that we learn the appropriate ways

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Eunbee! Thanks for doing your homework. However, please be careful with word usage. 

- Debbie

Nov. 04, 2021
Homework: Can a person be happy and well-adjusted without any friends?


When it comes to a person’s happiness, I cannot say that no friends means no happiness, because, in my opinion, happiness is defined differently for each individual.
>> When it comes to a person’s happiness, I cannot say that having no friends means no happiness because, in my opinion, happiness is defined differently for each individual.

Therefore, there is a possibility that an individual is happy without anyone around him/her.
>> This is a good sentence.

However, I do not think a person can be well-rounded without any friends around.
>> However, I do not think a person can be well-adjusted without any friends around.

 It is because I think a personality is defined through countless adjustings and adaptations, and especially when they are done through communicating with others.
>> It is because I think a personality is defined through countless adjustments and adaptations, and especially when they communicate with others.

Being happy, I think, has nothing to do with the degree of being well-adjusted.
>> This is a good sentence.

For a person to be well-adjusted, he/she needs opportunities to observe other’s reaction during interactions.
>> For a person to be well-adjusted, he/she needs opportunities to observe others' reactions during interactions.

As children, we were taught to think in others’ shoes, to objectively assess ourselves.
>> As children, we were taught to put ourselves in others’ shoes to objectively assess ourselves.

 While I agree to the lesson, I also think that daily, it is through other people’s reactions that we learn the appropriate ways
>>  While I agree with the lesson, I also think that it is through other people’s reactions that we learn the appropriate ways to form relationships.

Therefore, I strongly disagree to the idea of one being able to be well-adjusted individual without having any friends.
>> Therefore, I strongly disagree with the idea of one being able to be a well-adjusted individual without having any friends.
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114101 Call 민*정 완료 2021-11-23 4
114100 I love it 김*호 완료 2021-11-23 293
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114098 Tuesday homework 류*우 완료 2021-11-23 180
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114096 homework. 박*민 완료 2021-11-23 1
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114093 weekend 박*민 완료 2021-11-23 3
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114091 essay about the \"what do we growing kids like to do\" 김*서 완료 2021-11-23 5
114090 If you had money to spare, what would you invest in? Why? 박*원 완료 2021-11-23 0
114089 What makes you sad? Why? ye*nhi 완료 2021-11-23 228
114088 (y)homework 안*영 완료 2021-11-23 0
114087 Homework 함*주 완료 2021-11-23 1
114086 housing prices 권*희 완료 2021-11-23 1215
114085 \"Experience is the best teacher\". Do you agree with this? 서*영 완료 2021-11-23 1

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