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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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What is your greatest failure, and what did you learn from it?

작성자: 문*현
2021-11-06 280

회원님의 영작문

The biggest challenge was when I tried to sign contracts with multiple customers in a short time. In my current role as a data services analyst, my duty includes selling consulting services. During the first months, I was able to arouse interest from a customer about services with cold calls, marketing emails and in-person meetings. However, since I overly pressed some customers with tight deadlines, I failed to close the sales. From this experience, I learned that being calm-headed is essential in client interaction. Clients have their guideline to follow to make a contract and this procedure can sometimes be time-consuming for various decision makers engaged. Understanding their working cycle and allowing them sufficient time would make them relieved. Eventually, for the next service promotion period, I kicked off marketing a few weeks earlier and gave more time to the client, which allowed me to increase my customer base to 40% and revenue to 60%.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Aciel! It really shows that paying attention and being sensitive to your clients/customers is helpful. 

The biggest challenge was when I tried to sign contracts with multiple customers in a short time. 
>>> correct   
In my current role as a data services analyst, my duty includes selling consulting services. 
>>> correct  
During the first months, I was able to arouse interest from a customer about services with cold calls, marketing emails and in-person meetings. 
>>> OR: During the first few months, I was able to arouse interest from customers about services with cold calls, marketing emails and in-person meetings.  
However, since I overly pressed some customers with tight deadlines, I failed to close the sales. 
>>> correct   
>>> OR: However, since I tend to pressure some customers with the tight deadlines, I failed to close the sales.  
From this experience, I learned that being calm-headed is essential in client interaction. 
>>>  correct  
Clients have their guideline to follow to make a contract and this procedure can sometimes be time-consuming for various decision makers engaged. 
>>>  correct  
Understanding their working cycle and allowing them sufficient time would make them relieved. 
>>>   correct 
Eventually, for the next service promotion period, I kicked off marketing a few weeks earlier and gave more time to the client, which allowed me to increase my customer base to 40% and revenue to 60%.
>>>  correct  

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