¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Affect bad effect to penguins

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-11-06 444

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think global warming affect lots of bad effects. Global warming makes the ice in north, and south poles melt. Penguins live on the ice land. But if the ice lands melt, then penguins lose their home. It makes penguins die. So global warming affects very bad effects to penguins.
(From now on, I'll write about scientific facts.)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel! You did an amazing job. Your reply is the perfect answer to the given question. I agree with what you wrote. You should only look for scientific facts. However, make sure you get your information from reliable websites. Alright? 

- Teacher Debbie


I think global warming affect lots of bad effects.
>> I think global warming has lots of bad effects.

Global warming makes the ice in north, and south poles melt. 
>> It makes the ice in the north and south poles melt. 

Penguins live on the ice land.
>> Penguins live on icy land.

But if the ice lands melt, then penguins lose their home.
>> However, if the ice melts, the penguins will lose their home.

 It makes penguins die. 
>> Penguins can die.

So global warming affects very bad effects to penguins.
>> Therefore, global warming has bad effects to penguins.

(From now on, I'll write about scientific facts.)
>> This is a good sentence. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114852 stress ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 1383
114851 What\'s the best thing about having a family? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 1
114850 What was your best travel experience so far? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 1
114849 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-19 366
114848 How do you avoid a person whom you do not wish to speak with? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-19 3
114847 What is the worst natural disaster for you? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-19 3
114846 Having a goal in life is effective in becoming successful. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-19 0
114845 12.17 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-19 1
114844 What do you think should the government of South Korea do with... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-19 0
114843 Education:Necessary,but not Everything ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-18 535
114842 What sport ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-18 2
114841 I like that!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 787
114840 Apartment is better to live ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 253
114839 What music is not very pleasant for you? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 2
114838 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 432
114837 What are some of the ill effects of poor sleep? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 750
114836 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 429
114835 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 308
114834 What do you eat when you sad? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 581
114833 I want to change my curtain. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 393

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04