¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Affect bad effect to penguins

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-11-06 541

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think global warming affect lots of bad effects. Global warming makes the ice in north, and south poles melt. Penguins live on the ice land. But if the ice lands melt, then penguins lose their home. It makes penguins die. So global warming affects very bad effects to penguins.
(From now on, I'll write about scientific facts.)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel! You did an amazing job. Your reply is the perfect answer to the given question. I agree with what you wrote. You should only look for scientific facts. However, make sure you get your information from reliable websites. Alright? 

- Teacher Debbie


I think global warming affect lots of bad effects.
>> I think global warming has lots of bad effects.

Global warming makes the ice in north, and south poles melt. 
>> It makes the ice in the north and south poles melt. 

Penguins live on the ice land.
>> Penguins live on icy land.

But if the ice lands melt, then penguins lose their home.
>> However, if the ice melts, the penguins will lose their home.

 It makes penguins die. 
>> Penguins can die.

So global warming affects very bad effects to penguins.
>> Therefore, global warming has bad effects to penguins.

(From now on, I'll write about scientific facts.)
>> This is a good sentence. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112600 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 521
112599 Writing Correction ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 741
112598 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 1
112597 Homework [10/06} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 397
112596 Are these correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 504
112595 Are there any problems with jellyfish or sharks at your local... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 0
112594 Why do you think there are some couples in South Korea that... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 430
112593 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 2
112592 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 559
112591 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 375
112590 Why is language important? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 1
112589 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 429
112588 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 475
112587 How are you being honest with yourself? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 2
112586 Korea deliver servies ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 485
112585 Movies ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 386
112584 Movies ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 557
112583 How do you understand this: ¡°When in Rome, do as the Romans... È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 440
112582 my favorite things ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 453
112581 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04