¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Affect bad effect to penguins

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-11-06 554

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think global warming affect lots of bad effects. Global warming makes the ice in north, and south poles melt. Penguins live on the ice land. But if the ice lands melt, then penguins lose their home. It makes penguins die. So global warming affects very bad effects to penguins.
(From now on, I'll write about scientific facts.)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel! You did an amazing job. Your reply is the perfect answer to the given question. I agree with what you wrote. You should only look for scientific facts. However, make sure you get your information from reliable websites. Alright? 

- Teacher Debbie


I think global warming affect lots of bad effects.
>> I think global warming has lots of bad effects.

Global warming makes the ice in north, and south poles melt. 
>> It makes the ice in the north and south poles melt. 

Penguins live on the ice land.
>> Penguins live on icy land.

But if the ice lands melt, then penguins lose their home.
>> However, if the ice melts, the penguins will lose their home.

 It makes penguins die. 
>> Penguins can die.

So global warming affects very bad effects to penguins.
>> Therefore, global warming has bad effects to penguins.

(From now on, I'll write about scientific facts.)
>> This is a good sentence. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112540 are these correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 621
112539 What kind of business do you think would be successful during... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 379
112538 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 579
112537 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 1
112536 Nowadays culture is much the same all around the world when... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 464
112535 HOMEWORK: Choose the right word. Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 494
112534 Tell me about your favorite sports game. ¹Ú*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 414
112533 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 442
112532 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 2
112531 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 530
112530 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 1
112529 Autumn is missing. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 1
112528 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 769
112527 homework Æí*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 400
112526 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 482
112525 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 6
112524 WORD FILE _ CORRECTION RQ from IB ¼­*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 4
112523 What kind of business do you think would be successful during... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 454
112522 What is your favorite drinks? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 453
112521 Do you like yourself better with make up or no make up? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 387

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04