¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Korea\'s big problem

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-11-08 161

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my personal opinion the most big problem is riches there gonna be the more riches, poors there goona be the more poors.
Because our economic structure do not working rounding.
House price, the land price gonna be the more higher and higher every day.
Riches they very quickly got it because they have a lot of money and heard about something news, but just normal people we don't have any money and news.
The money circulation structure looks like I think it's becoming abnormal.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Our countries are experiencing different problems that affects the citizens living in it. I hope the ones that you have stated would be resolved. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my personal opinion the most big problem is riches there gonna be the more riches, poors there goona be the more poors.
>> In my own personal opinion, i think the biggest problem our country is facing is that the rich people keep on getting rich and the poor remain poor. 

Because our economic structure do not working rounding.
>> It is because our economic structure is not working well. 

House price, the land price gonna be the more higher and higher every day.
>> House and land prices become higher everyday. 

Riches they very quickly got it because they have a lot of money and heard about something news, but just normal people we don't have any money and news.
>> Rich people can easily get it because they have a lot of money and usually know about it first. For normal people, we don't have money to afford it and we rarely get informed about it. 

The money circulation structure looks like I think it's becoming abnormal.
>>The circulation of money is not working well. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113154 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 220
113153 H/W ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 158
113152 Nowadays many people aim to create a balance between their work... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 192
113151 egg ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 235
113150 Unit1. Learning about sizes ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 204
113149 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 203
113148 why go to school is early. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 195
113147 What was the best lesson your mentor taught you? ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 214
113146 What is the hardest problem you have ever faced in your life? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 253
113145 Local Festival to Resume as Korea Returns to Normal À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 0
113144 Have you ever ordered food in English? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 152
113143 rich ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 229
113142 Sports ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 172
113141 Can you concentrate on other things when you are listening to... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 0
113140 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 188
113139 Is it a must for a person to have a hobby? why? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 1
113138 10.21 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 1
113137 How have birthdays changed from generation to generation in your... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 208
113136 Should we try to make life as uncomfortable as possible for... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 192
113135 Where do you wish to live when you are old? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04