¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What part of your Korean history is your favorite? Explain why.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-11-09 377

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In the past, Korea had many wars and they were very painful to my ancestor.
A lot of people died because of those wars, and a lot of people despaired because of them.
So I think all the periods that Korea didn't have war are my favorite history.
Having no war is one of the greatest blessings for us and for all the people.
That's why I think the periods that Korea didn't have war are my favorite history.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

That's a fair point. I think no one really likes wars. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In the past, Korea had many wars and they were very painful to my ancestor.
>> In the past, Korea had many wars and it was a bad time for my ancestors. 

A lot of people died because of those wars, and a lot of people despaired because of them.
>> A lot of people died because of those wars, and a lot of people were despaired because of them.

So I think all the periods that Korea didn't have war are my favorite history.
>> So I think that the periods when there were no wars in South Korea are my favorite parts of our history. 

Having no war is one of the greatest blessings for us and for all the people.
>> CORRECT

That's why I think the periods that Korea didn't have war are my favorite history.
>> That's why I think the periods that Korea didn't have war are my favorite parts of history.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115403 Homeless ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 1314
115402 Prepare for my audition and interview ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 755
115401 homework ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 0
115400 Tell Me About a Time You Demonstrated Leadership Skills. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 565
115399 Are you good at dealing with colleagues/customers from different... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 1971
115398 Do you enjoy taking risks/challenges? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 400
115397 What do you think of a 4 day weekday (Working for only 4 days,... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 1382
115396 homework (¼÷Á¦) ÃÖ*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 1508
115395 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 1155
115394 I\'m doing my homework...^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 335
115393 What do you think should the government do about homeless people? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 764
115392 Is there a conflict between mandatory vaccination and the right... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 2
115391 When was the last time you got sick? Write about it. ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 2888
115390 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 763
115389 What do you think should the government do about homeless people? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 1026
115388 If you had grown up in a different city, how would your life... º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 945
115387 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1319
115386 Parents should intervene to children\'s shopping ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1192
115385 What was the most difficult time of your life? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1693
115384 What is your greatest accomplishment? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1063

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04