¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What part of your Korean history is your favorite? Explain why.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-11-09 274

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In the past, Korea had many wars and they were very painful to my ancestor.
A lot of people died because of those wars, and a lot of people despaired because of them.
So I think all the periods that Korea didn't have war are my favorite history.
Having no war is one of the greatest blessings for us and for all the people.
That's why I think the periods that Korea didn't have war are my favorite history.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

That's a fair point. I think no one really likes wars. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In the past, Korea had many wars and they were very painful to my ancestor.
>> In the past, Korea had many wars and it was a bad time for my ancestors. 

A lot of people died because of those wars, and a lot of people despaired because of them.
>> A lot of people died because of those wars, and a lot of people were despaired because of them.

So I think all the periods that Korea didn't have war are my favorite history.
>> So I think that the periods when there were no wars in South Korea are my favorite parts of our history. 

Having no war is one of the greatest blessings for us and for all the people.
>> CORRECT

That's why I think the periods that Korea didn't have war are my favorite history.
>> That's why I think the periods that Korea didn't have war are my favorite parts of history.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113643 Korea\'s big problem ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 314
113642 What do you like most about teaching? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 0
113641 10.29 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 1
113640 Do you have any collections? Tell me about it, ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 325
113639 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 321
113638 Help me teacher Mayleen Á¤*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 6
113637 What would you do if you had more free time? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 265
113636 What do people in your country usually do on Pepero Day? Should... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 1
113635 Tell me the most interesting place in your country. ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 2
113634 What are you most afraid of? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 423
113633 My husband job ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 3
113632 For Jisun Oral Test 2 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 329
113631 For Jisun Oral Test 1 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 351
113630 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 409
113629 Tell us about a memorable, enjoyable, or strange dream you\'ve... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 295
113628 Affect bad effect to penguins ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 336
113627 Tell Me About a Time You Demonstrated Leadership Skills. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 356
113626 Have you ever been on a team where someone was not pulling their... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 416
113625 How do you handle working with people who annoy you? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 376
113624 What is your greatest failure, and what did you learn from it? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 293

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04