¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¿À*º½
2021-11-09 836

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the best city is Goyang city.
Goyang city has many convenient facilities.
There are quality academies and schools.
besides there are quality culture centers.
This city is near the Seoul city but there is not crowded.
That't why I thought like above.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Shannen!
I love the details you included in your work.
It actually made the composition smoother and more comprehensive.
Keep it up!^ ^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I think the best city is Goyang city.
>> I think the best city is Goyang City.
Goyang city has many convenient facilities.
>> Goyang City has many convenient facilities.
There are quality academies and schools.
>> Correct
besides there are quality culture centers.
>> There are quality culture centers.
This city is near the Seoul city but there is not crowded.
>> This city is near Seoul but it's not crowded.
That't why I thought like above.
>> That's why I thought the same way. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113103 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 201
113102 Do you think your parents ate healthier food at your age than... ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 1
113101 How can houses be made more environmentally friendly? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 1
113100 What volunteer work do you see yourself doing? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 4
113099 How do you deal with an intimidating situation/person? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 274
113098 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 6
113097 What is your favorite fashion accessory? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 232
113096 Homework for 10.12& 10.14 ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 5
113095 My weekday schedule ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 240
113094 10.20 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 0
113093 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 5
113092 doo doong... ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 243
113091 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 7
113090 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 308
113089 World without clock(tools to tell time): really terrible ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 250
113088 Why do you think people cheat? ÀÓ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 2
113087 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 244
113086 What food do you dislike? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 3
113085 The busiest people ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 2
113084 Can people change? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04