¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¿À*º½
2021-11-09 999

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the best city is Goyang city.
Goyang city has many convenient facilities.
There are quality academies and schools.
besides there are quality culture centers.
This city is near the Seoul city but there is not crowded.
That't why I thought like above.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Shannen!
I love the details you included in your work.
It actually made the composition smoother and more comprehensive.
Keep it up!^ ^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I think the best city is Goyang city.
>> I think the best city is Goyang City.
Goyang city has many convenient facilities.
>> Goyang City has many convenient facilities.
There are quality academies and schools.
>> Correct
besides there are quality culture centers.
>> There are quality culture centers.
This city is near the Seoul city but there is not crowded.
>> This city is near Seoul but it's not crowded.
That't why I thought like above.
>> That's why I thought the same way. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113469 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 306
113468 What are the disadvantages of reopening estabilishment under... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 2
113467 Homework from the lesson 11012021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 384
113466 Birthstone ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 683
113465 Howework ±Ç*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 2
113464 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 7
113463 Autumn season pictures ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 777
113462 Airline industry prepares to increase international filights... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 0
113461 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 2
113460 Today\'s homework Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 1
113459 online classes ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 314
113458 What kind of people do you like to meet? ¾È*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 392
113457 mermaid ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 250
113456 if i have magic À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 1
113455 How can you divide your time effectively between work and... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 1
113454 Should parents allow their kids to be part of an organization? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 3
113453 Is it easy to forgive people for doing something bad to you? Why... ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 509
113452 What do you think of Korea¡¯s three-phase plan to return to... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 545
113451 Halloween costume ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 350
113450 What interest did you have when you were young that you are not... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 821

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04