¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¿À*º½
2021-11-09 1087

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the best city is Goyang city.
Goyang city has many convenient facilities.
There are quality academies and schools.
besides there are quality culture centers.
This city is near the Seoul city but there is not crowded.
That't why I thought like above.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Shannen!
I love the details you included in your work.
It actually made the composition smoother and more comprehensive.
Keep it up!^ ^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I think the best city is Goyang city.
>> I think the best city is Goyang City.
Goyang city has many convenient facilities.
>> Goyang City has many convenient facilities.
There are quality academies and schools.
>> Correct
besides there are quality culture centers.
>> There are quality culture centers.
This city is near the Seoul city but there is not crowded.
>> This city is near Seoul but it's not crowded.
That't why I thought like above.
>> That's why I thought the same way. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112379 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 409
112378 What is your favorite childhood game and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 385
112377 walk ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 0
112376 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1049
112375 Do you believe that the rich are growing richer, and the poor... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112374 What is your favorite childhood game and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 0
112373 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 3
112372 Why is there time is diffrence? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112371 09.30 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 0
112370 Saving Money ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 452
112369 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 2
112368 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 2
112367 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112366 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 2
112365 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 519
112364 Howework ±Ç*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 2
112363 What is your favorite childhood game and why? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 368
112362 page 44 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 383
112361 Have you ever tried oversleeping? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 525
112360 What traditional values are not important or not necessary now? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04