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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What kind of industry do you think will thrive online in the future?

작성자: 선*
2021-11-11 499

회원님의 영작문

I think every industry will thrive online in the future. At first, online educations seem to be difficult, but pandemics make online education possible for 2 years. Up to now, many digital experts have established platforms for online education, and it is similar to learning from in-person educations, which can operate by two-way communications like person to person in reality. Even it is much easier to help students improve learning because students can check their learning process and compare their results through learning data such as test scores, how to participate in class, or feedback like power English programs
Though, it has also disadvantage in terms of emotional or mental communication, pushing young students, and making students who are slower learners follow the class. In addition, someone who doesn’t have a high-end digitals device or is not good at handling digital devices would not be interested in online learning. We need to consider these aspects in detail.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

I am grateful for your effort to answer your homework, Sun Jung! See you!-Faith-
I think every industry will thrive online in the future. 
>> CORRECT
At first, online educations seem to be difficult, but pandemics make online education possible for 2 years. 
>> At first, online education seem to be difficult, but pandemics make online education possible for two years. 
Up to now, many digital experts have established platforms for online education, and it is similar to learning from in-person educations, which can operate by two-way communications like person to person in reality. 
>> Up to now, many digital experts have established platforms for online education, and it is similar to learning from in-person education, which can operate by a two-way communication like a person-to-person setup.
Even it is much easier to help students improve learning because students can check their learning process and compare their results through learning data such as test scores, how to participate in class, or feedback like power English programs
>> It is even much easier to help students improve learning because students can check their learning process and compare their results through learning data such as test scores, how to participate in class, or feedback like Power English programs.
Though, it has also disadvantage in terms of emotional or mental communication, pushing young students, and making students who are slower learners follow the class. 
>> Though, it has also disadvantages in terms of emotional or mental communication, pushing young students, and making students, who are slower learners, follow the class. 
In addition, someone who doesn’t have a high-end digitals device or is not good at handling digital devices would not be interested in online learning. 
>> In addition, someone who doesn’t have a high-end digital device or is not good at handling digital devices would not be interested in online learning. 
We need to consider these aspects in detail.
>> CORRECT
OR We have to take a close look at these factors.
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