¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Netflix

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À¯*Áø
2021-11-13 118

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The Squid Game is one of the most famous movies in the world.
According to the "New York Times" , the movie has been thought
unhappy by North Korean Government because it depicts a fictional
game show that has deadly consequences. K-pop has become increasingly
popular in North Korea with tens of thousands of North Koreans having
access to it almost exclusively through the black market.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Jin!

It is great to read from you once again here on the composition page. Squid Game is a very meaningful drama. Not only that presents human nature to survive, but it also the reason why they need to. So with the 111 million people who watched it in the world, as well as all those who support K-pop, these are excellent forms of entertainment.

Kindly go over the explanations and suggestions I made below. This is a very good piece of writing. Keep it up!

See you in class soon.

-T. Donna =)

The Squid Game is one of the most famous movies in the world.
>> Squid Game is one of the most famous tv series in the world.
EXPLANATION: We do not need "the" before Squid Game as you can see in the original title, it doesn't have it.  This is a very tricky rule in English. You have to memorize if you need to use it or not because there is always an exception to the rule.

According to the "New York Times" , the movie has been thought
unhappy by North Korean Government because it depicts a fictional
game show that has deadly consequences. 
>> Correct!
Or: ... by the North Korean Government...
EXPLANATION: We need "the" before North Korean Government to mean that it is a specific kind of government. Most countries' governments need to have "the" for this pattern. For example: the South Korean government, the Vietnamese government, 

K-pop has become increasingly
popular in North Korea with tens of thousands of North Koreans having
access to it almost exclusively through the black market.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113661 What do you do to stay healthy? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 3
113660 Do you think being a professional dancer would be a good job? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 1
113659 My siblings ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 1
113658 Is your personality suited to your job? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 2
113657 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 217
113656 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 197
113655 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 190
113654 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 2
113653 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 2
113652 Punctuality ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 350
113651 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 3
113650 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 0
113649 What is the best public transport to you? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 404
113648 What I do in spring and summer ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 175
113647 job ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 175
113646 How do you keep in touch with your relatives and friends? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 1
113645 Tell me about your favorite food. ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 292
113644 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 186
113643 Korea\'s big problem ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 172
113642 What do you like most about teaching? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-08 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04