¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Netflix

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À¯*Áø
2021-11-13 128

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The Squid Game is one of the most famous movies in the world.
According to the "New York Times" , the movie has been thought
unhappy by North Korean Government because it depicts a fictional
game show that has deadly consequences. K-pop has become increasingly
popular in North Korea with tens of thousands of North Koreans having
access to it almost exclusively through the black market.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Jin!

It is great to read from you once again here on the composition page. Squid Game is a very meaningful drama. Not only that presents human nature to survive, but it also the reason why they need to. So with the 111 million people who watched it in the world, as well as all those who support K-pop, these are excellent forms of entertainment.

Kindly go over the explanations and suggestions I made below. This is a very good piece of writing. Keep it up!

See you in class soon.

-T. Donna =)

The Squid Game is one of the most famous movies in the world.
>> Squid Game is one of the most famous tv series in the world.
EXPLANATION: We do not need "the" before Squid Game as you can see in the original title, it doesn't have it.  This is a very tricky rule in English. You have to memorize if you need to use it or not because there is always an exception to the rule.

According to the "New York Times" , the movie has been thought
unhappy by North Korean Government because it depicts a fictional
game show that has deadly consequences. 
>> Correct!
Or: ... by the North Korean Government...
EXPLANATION: We need "the" before North Korean Government to mean that it is a specific kind of government. Most countries' governments need to have "the" for this pattern. For example: the South Korean government, the Vietnamese government, 

K-pop has become increasingly
popular in North Korea with tens of thousands of North Koreans having
access to it almost exclusively through the black market.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113522 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 1
113521 If I don\'t work an engineer. ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 178
113520 1103. ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113519 Since it\'s Halloween season, do you think ghosts are real? Why... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 174
113518 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 363
113517 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 222
113516 11003 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113515 desert ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 173
113514 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 167
113513 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113512 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113511 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 4
113510 Howework ±Ç*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 2
113509 If you have the time, please try to answer this homework about... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 218
113508 1103 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113507 Kindly answer the following in essay form. Tell me about the... ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 2
113506 My son ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 2
113505 1103 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113504 How long would you wait to get served before complaining or... ¹®*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 1
113503 Funeral Sermon 2 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 153

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04