¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Netflix

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À¯*Áø
2021-11-13 267

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The Squid Game is one of the most famous movies in the world.
According to the "New York Times" , the movie has been thought
unhappy by North Korean Government because it depicts a fictional
game show that has deadly consequences. K-pop has become increasingly
popular in North Korea with tens of thousands of North Koreans having
access to it almost exclusively through the black market.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Jin!

It is great to read from you once again here on the composition page. Squid Game is a very meaningful drama. Not only that presents human nature to survive, but it also the reason why they need to. So with the 111 million people who watched it in the world, as well as all those who support K-pop, these are excellent forms of entertainment.

Kindly go over the explanations and suggestions I made below. This is a very good piece of writing. Keep it up!

See you in class soon.

-T. Donna =)

The Squid Game is one of the most famous movies in the world.
>> Squid Game is one of the most famous tv series in the world.
EXPLANATION: We do not need "the" before Squid Game as you can see in the original title, it doesn't have it.  This is a very tricky rule in English. You have to memorize if you need to use it or not because there is always an exception to the rule.

According to the "New York Times" , the movie has been thought
unhappy by North Korean Government because it depicts a fictional
game show that has deadly consequences. 
>> Correct!
Or: ... by the North Korean Government...
EXPLANATION: We need "the" before North Korean Government to mean that it is a specific kind of government. Most countries' governments need to have "the" for this pattern. For example: the South Korean government, the Vietnamese government, 

K-pop has become increasingly
popular in North Korea with tens of thousands of North Koreans having
access to it almost exclusively through the black market.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112364 Howework ±Ç*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 2
112363 What is your favorite childhood game and why? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 393
112362 page 44 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 398
112361 Have you ever tried oversleeping? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 540
112360 What traditional values are not important or not necessary now? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112359 9.30 homework ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 3
112358 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112357 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112356 How different do you think is the generation now from the... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 487
112355 What things do you want to add or remove in your house? Explain... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 965
112354 Do you think it is more important to make a lot of money or to... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 450
112353 Is it better to rent or buy a property? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112352 What kind of help do you want now? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 477
112351 0929 ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 2
112350 If you will be away from your family for three days, what would... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112349 speaking part-2(person) ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 468
112348 Do you believe that the rich are growing richer, and the poor... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 344
112347 9.28 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 1
112346 Why is English fluency significant for you? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 1
112345 Dear Debbie ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04