¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Netflix

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À¯*Áø
2021-11-13 286

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The Squid Game is one of the most famous movies in the world.
According to the "New York Times" , the movie has been thought
unhappy by North Korean Government because it depicts a fictional
game show that has deadly consequences. K-pop has become increasingly
popular in North Korea with tens of thousands of North Koreans having
access to it almost exclusively through the black market.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Jin!

It is great to read from you once again here on the composition page. Squid Game is a very meaningful drama. Not only that presents human nature to survive, but it also the reason why they need to. So with the 111 million people who watched it in the world, as well as all those who support K-pop, these are excellent forms of entertainment.

Kindly go over the explanations and suggestions I made below. This is a very good piece of writing. Keep it up!

See you in class soon.

-T. Donna =)

The Squid Game is one of the most famous movies in the world.
>> Squid Game is one of the most famous tv series in the world.
EXPLANATION: We do not need "the" before Squid Game as you can see in the original title, it doesn't have it.  This is a very tricky rule in English. You have to memorize if you need to use it or not because there is always an exception to the rule.

According to the "New York Times" , the movie has been thought
unhappy by North Korean Government because it depicts a fictional
game show that has deadly consequences. 
>> Correct!
Or: ... by the North Korean Government...
EXPLANATION: We need "the" before North Korean Government to mean that it is a specific kind of government. Most countries' governments need to have "the" for this pattern. For example: the South Korean government, the Vietnamese government, 

K-pop has become increasingly
popular in North Korea with tens of thousands of North Koreans having
access to it almost exclusively through the black market.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112242 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 496
112241 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 536
112240 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 533
112239 away from ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 1
112238 HOMEWORK: What would you do if you were trapped in an island? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 1
112237 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 493
112236 Describe a time when you had to assist a co-worker. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 379
112235 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 588
112234 Homework {09/27} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 477
112233 Since we celebrated Chu Seok, what are you most thankful for? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 495
112232 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 847
112231 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 898
112230 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 412
112229 speaking part1 ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 447
112228 What is the most interesting city to visit in your country? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 374
112227 page 28 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 420
112226 Could you tell me about your graduation experience? ¹Ú*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 423
112225 Friendship ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 504
112224 What would you like to give up so that you could have more free... °¥*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 492
112223 Are you comfortable talking to strangers? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04