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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Sermon 2

작성자: 류*선
2021-11-13 155

회원님의 영작문

And now he in rests from his labor. What he has done was that he has kept his eyes on Jesus. He was one of the pioneers in our faith journey. I had begun our communal faith journey ahead of us. He must have had challenges and difficulties. He must have experienced cumbersome and burden. But he never quitted. He has kept his eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in.
Now we believe that he is with Jesus Christ. He is in a better place where there is no pain, no grief and no sorrow. That is our belief.
How can it be possible? How do we know it? What is the proof?
According to today’s scripture, we, human beings, are not able to redeem ourselves. It is because of our sins that we have committed in our lives.
Christ made a sacrifice on the cross for our sins, and that was it! He obeyed God’s will and plan for salvation. He rose again from the grave and sat down right beside God. It was a perfect sacrifice by a perfect person to perfect some very imperfect people.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

I praise God for this wonderful message of yours, Han! One more to go!-Faith-
And now he in rests from his labor. 
>> And now he is resting from his labor. 
What he has done was that he has kept his eyes on Jesus. 
>> What he did was that he had kept his eyes on Jesus. 
He was one of the pioneers in our faith journey. 
>> CORRECT
I had begun our communal faith journey ahead of us. 
>> He had begun our communal faith journey ahead of us. 
He must have had challenges and difficulties. 
>> He must had challenges and difficulties. 
He must have experienced cumbersome and burden. 
>> He must had experienced cumbersome situations and burdens. 
But he never quitted. 
>> But he never quit. 
He has kept his eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in.
>> He had kept his eyes on Jesus, who both began and will finish this race we’re in.
Now we believe that he is with Jesus Christ. 
>> Now, we believe that he is with Jesus Christ. 
He is in a better place where there is no pain, no grief and no sorrow. 
>> CORRECT
That is our belief.
>> CORRECT
How can it be possible? 
>> CORRECT
How do we know it? 
>> How do we know about it?
What is the proof?
>> CORRECT
According to today’s scripture, we, human beings, are not able to redeem ourselves. 
>> CORRECT
It is because of our sins that we have committed in our lives.
>> It is because of the sins that we have committed in our lives.
Christ made a sacrifice on the cross for our sins, and that was it! 
>> CORRECT
OR Christ laid down Himself on the cross for our sins, and that was it! 
He obeyed God’s will and plan for salvation. 
>> CORRECT
He rose again from the grave and sat down right beside God. 
>> CORRECT 
It was a perfect sacrifice by a perfect person to perfect some very imperfect people.
>> It was a perfect sacrifice by a perfect Person for very imperfect people.
OR It was a perfect sacrifice by a perfect Person for perfectly imperfect people.
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