¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Korean creature named Hatae.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-11-13 288

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The most popular Korean creature is named Hatae. It's a creature that protect Seoul and keep judgement. So it is very good creature to Korean. And it appearance is lion+turtle. lastly, there are lots of Hatae in North-east Asia, but there is only good Hatae in Korea.
(Movie diary) I watched movie called AK-47, that is about very famous rifle called AK-47. So, I will explain about it.
This rifle is from Russia. It was second AR around the world. Maker of this gun thought about strong, and fast rate of fire. It is called AR. The first AR is stg44, it was an very big evolution. Whole world needed this AR. So in Russia, the AR called AK-47 was adapted. It was very durable and good rate of fire. And it was very cheap, so lots of poor terrorist used it. Because of these reasons, about 44890000 people were died because of this guns. So this is very historic guns.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel!  Your homework is well-organized and easy to understand. Good job! However, focus on subject-verb agreement please.

- Teacher Debbie

The most popular Korean creature is named Hatae. 
>> This is a good sentence.

It's a creature that protect Seoul and keep judgement.
>> It's the creature that protects Seoul and gives judgement.

So it is very good creature to Korean.
>> Therefore, it is very good to Koreans.

 And it appearance is lion+turtle. 
>> It looks like a lion and a turtle.

lastly, there are lots of Hatae in North-east Asia, but there is only good Hatae in Korea.
>> Lastly, there are lots of hataes in Northeast Asia, but there is only good Hatae in Korea.


Movie Diary

I watched movie called AK-47, that is about very famous rifle called AK-47. 
>> I watched a movie called AK-47. It is about a very famous rifle called AK-47.

So, I will explain about it.
>> I will write about it.

This rifle is from Russia.
>> This is a good sentence.

 It was second AR around the world. 
>> It was the second AR around the world.

Maker of this gun thought about strong, and fast rate of fire. 
>> The maker of this gun thought about powerful and fast-fire-rate guns.

It is called AR. 
>> They called them AR.

The first AR is stg44, it was an very big evolution. 
>> The first AR was StG44. It was a very big evolution.

Whole world needed this AR. 
>> The whole world needed this AR.

So in Russia, the AR called AK-47 was adapted.
>> Therefore, in Russia, the AR was called AK-47.

 It was very durable and good rate of fire. 
>> It was very durable and has a good fire rate.

And it was very cheap, so lots of poor terrorist used it. 
>> Moreover, it was very cheap, so lots of poor terrorists used it.

Because of these reasons, about 44890000 people were died because of this guns.
>> Because of these reasons, about 448,900,00 people died.

So this is very historic guns
>>  Therefore, this is a very dangerous gun.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114154 What do you love about shopping? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-25 0
114153 Which is harder, to accept something or reject it? Share your... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 285
114152 ................ ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 325
114151 English ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 312
114150 Using English! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 1158
114149 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 407
114148 What is the busiest holiday in your country? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 2
114147 essay about \"what animal do I like\" ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 455
114146 Street signs. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 2
114145 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 576
114144 Homework ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 420
114143 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 354
114142 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 0
114141 Disney Plus subscribers complain about low-quality subtitles À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 1
114140 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 3
114139 THANK YOU Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 271
114138 Return to normal could stop wiht rise in serious COVID19 cases À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 1
114137 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 2
114136 If you had money to spare, what would you buy or invest in?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 321
114135 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 293

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04