¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Who do you think is the best South Korean politician? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼±*
2021-11-15 493

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The best politician is General Lee Sun-shin in our history, Actually, he was a soldier who commanded the navy, and was so loyal to the country, Chosun dynasty. When he was in charge of the Navy, the war between Chosun and Japan started. In fact, Japan invaded through the sea which was the only way to come to Chosun at that time. The Navy was essential to protect the country from other countries more than other armies. One of the best episodes was when he died from a Japanese attack. He was hit by the arrows and he got hurt to death in the peak of the war. Our soldiers did their best to win the war and followed general Lee without a fear of dying. The General already knew this situation. He knew how bad his death had animpact on the Navy, so he commanded not to let the news of his death spread among soldiers until the end of war. The war eventually ended up winning. He prioritized the favor of country and the safe of his soldiers. He was ready to fight for the country to death.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Sung Jung:)

Wow. Reading his story from you is very fascination. He is the epitome of a real hero. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

The best politician is General Lee Sun-shin in our history,
>> The best politician in our history is General Lee Sun-shin. 

Actually, he was a soldier who commanded the navy, and was so loyal to the country, Chosun dynasty.
>> Actually, he was a soldier who commanded the navy and was so loyal to the country during the Chosun dynasty.

When he was in charge of the Navy, the war between Chosun and Japan started. 
>> CORRECT

In fact, Japan invaded through the sea which was the only way to come to Chosun at that time. 
>> CORRECT

The Navy was essential to protect the country from other countries more than other armies. 
>> CORRECT

One of the best episodes was when he died from a Japanese attack. 
>> CORRECT

He was hit by the arrows and he got hurt to death in the peak of the war. 
>> He was hit by the arrows and he got hurt to death during the peak of the war. 

Our soldiers did their best to win the war and followed general Lee without a fear of dying. 
>>Our soldiers did their best to win the war and followed general Lee without the fear of dying. 

The General already knew this situation. 
>> CORRECT

He knew how bad his death had animpact on the Navy, so he commanded not to let the news of his death spread among soldiers until the end of war. 
>> He knew how bad his death would impact the Navy, so he commanded to not tell the news of his death to his soldiers until the end of the war. 

The war eventually ended up winning. 
>>We eventually ended up winning the war. 

He prioritized the favor of country and the safe of his soldiers. 
>> He prioritized the country and the safety of his soldiers. 

He was ready to fight for the country to death.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114532 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 254
114531 Saving electricity is very important. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 188
114530 Is physical activity an important part of a healthy life style? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 2
114529 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 460
114528 The purpose of studying history ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 175
114527 Master librarians À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 1
114526 Available ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 2
114525 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 221
114524 Do you think people who exercise are happier than those who... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 156
114523 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 219
114522 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 391
114521 Do you believe in lucky charms? Why or why not? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 173
114520 How endangered are whales and what can we do to help? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 1
114519 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 586
114518 Some people believe that teacher should be strict for students... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 165
114517 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 0
114516 There is too much noise in many public places in cities. What... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 145
114515 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 2
114514 What are the things that make you laugh easily? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 494
114513 When did you last have an interview? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04