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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Who do you think is the best South Korean politician? Explain your answer.

작성자: 선*
2021-11-15 590

회원님의 영작문

The best politician is General Lee Sun-shin in our history, Actually, he was a soldier who commanded the navy, and was so loyal to the country, Chosun dynasty. When he was in charge of the Navy, the war between Chosun and Japan started. In fact, Japan invaded through the sea which was the only way to come to Chosun at that time. The Navy was essential to protect the country from other countries more than other armies. One of the best episodes was when he died from a Japanese attack. He was hit by the arrows and he got hurt to death in the peak of the war. Our soldiers did their best to win the war and followed general Lee without a fear of dying. The General already knew this situation. He knew how bad his death had animpact on the Navy, so he commanded not to let the news of his death spread among soldiers until the end of war. The war eventually ended up winning. He prioritized the favor of country and the safe of his soldiers. He was ready to fight for the country to death.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Sung Jung:)

Wow. Reading his story from you is very fascination. He is the epitome of a real hero. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

The best politician is General Lee Sun-shin in our history,
>> The best politician in our history is General Lee Sun-shin. 

Actually, he was a soldier who commanded the navy, and was so loyal to the country, Chosun dynasty.
>> Actually, he was a soldier who commanded the navy and was so loyal to the country during the Chosun dynasty.

When he was in charge of the Navy, the war between Chosun and Japan started. 
>> CORRECT

In fact, Japan invaded through the sea which was the only way to come to Chosun at that time. 
>> CORRECT

The Navy was essential to protect the country from other countries more than other armies. 
>> CORRECT

One of the best episodes was when he died from a Japanese attack. 
>> CORRECT

He was hit by the arrows and he got hurt to death in the peak of the war. 
>> He was hit by the arrows and he got hurt to death during the peak of the war. 

Our soldiers did their best to win the war and followed general Lee without a fear of dying. 
>>Our soldiers did their best to win the war and followed general Lee without the fear of dying. 

The General already knew this situation. 
>> CORRECT

He knew how bad his death had animpact on the Navy, so he commanded not to let the news of his death spread among soldiers until the end of war. 
>> He knew how bad his death would impact the Navy, so he commanded to not tell the news of his death to his soldiers until the end of the war. 

The war eventually ended up winning. 
>>We eventually ended up winning the war. 

He prioritized the favor of country and the safe of his soldiers. 
>> He prioritized the country and the safety of his soldiers. 

He was ready to fight for the country to death.
>> CORRECT
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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