¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are the common crimes committed in South Korea and how do you think should be lessened?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*ÁÖ
2021-11-18 979

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What are the common crimes committed in South Korea and how do you think should be lessened?

Our country doesn't have a lot of crime.
Recently, crimes of child abuse is increasing every year. It is emerging the social problem.
It is difficult to deal with an individual family problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Monica:)

I actually heard about that and I feel really bad for those children. I hope they can get the justice that they deserve. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Our country doesn't have a lot of crime.
>> CORRECT

Recently, crimes of child abuse is increasing every year. 
>> Recently, crimes on child abuse is increasing.

It is emerging the social problem.
>> It is an emerging social problem. 

It is difficult to deal with an individual family problem.
>> It is difficult to deal with individual family problems. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112602 Make 5 sentences to describe your study room and post it on the... ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 854
112601 Writing Correction ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 481
112600 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 556
112599 Writing Correction ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 812
112598 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 1
112597 Homework [10/06} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 451
112596 Are these correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 550
112595 Are there any problems with jellyfish or sharks at your local... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 0
112594 Why do you think there are some couples in South Korea that... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 453
112593 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 2
112592 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 593
112591 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 396
112590 Why is language important? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 1
112589 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 510
112588 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 516
112587 How are you being honest with yourself? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 2
112586 Korea deliver servies ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 533
112585 Movies ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 410
112584 Movies ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 603
112583 How do you understand this: ¡°When in Rome, do as the Romans... È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 492

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04