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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

For Jisun Oral Test 3

작성자: 류*선
2021-11-18 527

회원님의 영작문

Problem 2 – Lack of hospitality for employees
Solution for problems 2. The company gives employees an edge of free meals and beverages and provides cubicles so that they are able to have their private space during their happy hours. Employees will incrementally be happier with hospitality so that they could be more productive at work.

Problem 3 – Lack of employees
Solution for problem 3. As the company hires more employees, employees can have happy hours during their long shifts and flexible day off. If they have to work day in day out, they must be enduring tough work schedules.

Conclusion
My daddy always says at home, “happy wife, happy life.” I would like to say to you, “happy employees, happy company.” I mean business and it is the bottom line of today’s speech. When a company provides employees hospitality and autonomy, the company will be in the black. Even though it looks intangible investment revenue will be much better.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Congratulations for your third presentation, Jane! You have gone far, just press on!-Faith-
Problem 2 – Lack of hospitality for employees
>> Problem 2 Lack of Hospitality to Employees
Solution for problems 2. 
>> Solution to Problem 2. 
The company gives employees an edge of free meals and beverages and provides cubicles so that they are able to have their private space during their happy hours. 
>> A company should give employees an edge of free meals and beverages and provide cubicles so that they are able to have their private space during their happy hours. 
Employees will incrementally be happier with hospitality so that they could be more productive at work.
>> Employees will incrementally be happier with hospitality that's why they could be more productive at work.
Problem 3 – Lack of employees
>> Problem 3 Lack of Employees
Solution for problem 3. 
>> Solution to Problem 3. 
As the company hires more employees, employees can have happy hours during their long shifts and flexible day off.
>> As a company hires more employees, employees can have more happy hours during their long shifts and flexible day off.
If they have to work day in day out, they must be enduring tough work schedules.
>> If they have to work day in, day out, they must be enduring tough work schedules.
Conclusion
>> CORRECT
My daddy always says at home, “happy wife, happy life.” 
>> My daddy always says at home, “Happy wife, happy life.” 
I would like to say to you, “happy employees, happy company.” 
>> Therefore, I would like to say to you, “Happy employees, happy company.” 
I mean business and it is the bottom line of today’s speech. 
>> CORRECT
When a company provides employees hospitality and autonomy, the company will be in the black. 
>> CORRECT
Even though it looks intangible investment revenue will be much better.
>> Even though they look like intangible investments, they can guarantee revenue growth.
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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